Ugh

New Gym Boyfriend

I am happy to report that I have a new gym boyfriend. FINALLY. I was getting sick of having to rely on my old one for distraction while I toil away on the treadmill. Because he's a douchebag. I found out he has a girlfriend for sure, so that pretty much solidified the "break-up" I imposed on our non-relationship a few months ago.

On a sidenote, I must say, not working has agreed with me in the sense that I’m definitely the skinniest since I’ve been since about 18 years old…I’m only five pounds away from my soccer weight…and although I don’t have the definition I had back then I’m still pretty happy with the way I look. Especially since I’m taking a cruise in a few weeks and I didn't want to have that pasty, fat girl look about me, which was the path I was headed down. It’s bad enough I look like Casper wearing white makeup half the time, I didn’t want the lower belly roll and cellulite to complete the look.

Anyways, last Saturday I spied a new Gym Boyfriend, but the problem is I have no idea what his workout schedule is, so seeing him will be a crapshoot at best. However, this is good because I’m not into being a stalker…not a full-fledged stalker anyways. If he walks in great, if not, staring out the window it is.

Wedding Solo

Long story short, I totally f***ed up my first wedding by myself. Thinking I would need to combat any depression that would choose to present itself from having to do my first wedding alone, I drank heavily. All was fine through dinner, when actually my friend’s date gave me his lobster and all his sushi…which made me extremely happy because that meant I had two lobsters. However, eventually the alcohol settled and I began to not feel well. I attempted to dance it out, however, the band was not playing the type of music I liked, plus I had no one to dance with. There were two other guys at the table, neither of which struck my fancy. But as it turns out, it was no matter because I had to go to the bathroom and throw up anyway. Right in the middle of the damn wedding, which is like the unclassiest thing I think I’ve ever done. The good news is, I felt better and the bathroom contained a toothbrush so my secret was safe. But still. For Christsakes I threw up at the wedding. On the upside, I consumed no calories in the end, helping me on my weight loss goal. On the downside, I believe that is called bulimia.

Dating Sucks

I knew the day would come eventually, but last week I received my first rejection. I went on a date with someone and they blew me off after. I am fine with this. It happens to everyone and I knew my day would come. However, attempting to heal my ego a bit, I accepted a date with someone who I really didn’t want to go on a date with. I told my friends that "lower standards were the new high standards." They all begged me to reconsider, but that was my new position and I was sticking to it. But as it turns out, you should always trust your instincts, or at the very least, your friends. The date in and of itself was fine…just very awkward. For example…the guy asked me out on a second date. My reply, maybe we could get through dinner first? He literally asked me out again before the main entrée came. He also asked me about ten times how he was doing. And if I was having fun. And that he couldn't believe I said yes to going out in the first place. Then, he asked like ten more times. I wanted to die. Anyways, long story short, I’ve reversed my position on lowered standards. You can have low expectations, but not low standards. If not, you wind up with someone who told you they went out and bought new shoes and new socks, because they didn’t own any that were appropriate to “go out with a girl like you.” And then he told me how much they cost. And he told me how much his TV costs, how much he pays in child support, how much he spent at brunch last week, how much he is going to tip our waitress, how much he tipped the waitress last week (that was after he told me he asked the restaurant manager to fight him outside), and long story short, I can tell you every penny that he has spent in the last two weeks...including how much he paid for the outfit he was currently wearing in order to go out with me. Yeah...I've reversed my opinion on low standards.