Dating in New York

Apparently dating in New York is done via text message and e-mail. I've only been in the game a few months, and so far this is my only observation - I'm sure many more are on the way. I can't decide if this is better and/or easier than traditional means of dating communications. My roommate had a two month dating experience in which her and her "friend" corresponded exclusively in these two ways, including their break up which we figured was done when one just didn't respond to the other. We agreed that this is indeed easier than a real break up, but it's also fake. A fake-up if you will...and there's nothing easy about that.

The problem in corresponding this way is that there is just too much time to think. Do I say "this" or do I say "that?" Do I send this out now or do I send it in an hour? My friend K. recently decided that since the guy she is texting with waited a day to respond to her, she would wait a day to respond back. This level of complexity is way to high for my liking.

And then the problem becomes, what if you don't hear back? Are you being cut off? Did you say something wrong? Should you indeed have said "that" when "this" would have been more clever?

And to make things even more complicated, what if you actually like the person? How do you proceed then? How do you manage not to seem too eager but maintain that you would like to stay in contact? Do you reach out or do you let him/her reach? It's all too much to bear! I always liked to joke that I'm a first date queen - that I never have had a good enough time with someone to go on a second date. But I recently went out with someone and I would totally go on a date again, but I haven't heard a word. And I know this happens all the time with my friends as well...what do you do then? I think in my case this may mean that I'm just getting a taste of my own medicine, but in an age of texting and IM how am I supposed to know for sure? You are always left to wonder if it was something you said or did, and second-guessing is maybe the worst thing human beings are capable of. Ok, maybe global terrorism or genocide is worse...but second guessing a text message is a very close second.

What is clear I guess is that there is no right or wrong answer to how to proceed. What works between one boy and girl may not work for another. I guess what is also clear is that I need to find something to do pronto, because I clearly have too much time on my hands.

I also think that the only logical answer to my personal dilemma is to perhaps just arrange to meet David Wright, third baseman for the Yankees. We're roughly the same age, he's hot, and he has to wear pinstripes to work...in my book this is check, check and check.

Brooke Hogan

I recently saw her video and only have two comments:

1.) I just want to make it abundantly clear that my dance off was NOTHING like the one she has in her video. The main difference being that hers is totally gay and mine was totally awesome.

2.) Why the F*$% is she wearing a grill and why does she continue to wear one? Ummm, we all watched Hogan Knows Best (and don't lie you know you totally caught at least one episode) and she hardly grew up in grill country, she grew up in like Malibu or something. She should try to wear that in the real 'hood...like where I'm from - running the streetz in the Boogie Down Boca, as we like to call it. Okay, as I like to call it. Ok I never called it that, but I digress. No matter where you're from, I think the general rule of thumb is White Kids + Grills = Grounds for an Ass Beating. White people are genetically predisposed to looking like a-holes in grills, cornrows and FuBu clothing. I don't understand why my people continue to make these very basic mistakes.

Driving in Manhattan

I have recently added "New York traffic dominator" to my bag of tricks. Last Thursday during a brief monsoon, I happened to be in control of a Toyota Corolla that was picking up people around Manhattan and navigating a flooded FDR. I was cutting off buses and cabdrivers, maneuvering around stopped and moving vehicles and just all out kicking ass. I was extremely pleased to learn that I posessed this skill...it means that if all else goes wrong, I can always be a sweet ass cab driver.