Tuesday, April 29, 2008

www.lialia.tumblr.com

As Kaplan pointed out, I'm terrible about following up on blog posts. It's mostly because composing them here on blogger can be a pain in the ass. I recently discovered a new way to blog...so visit my new page at www.lialia.tumblr.com.

It's a lot faster and let's me share a lot quicker...which hopefully means I'll be better. Since there was a follow up to the worst day ever, i'll post tonight on the shenanigans...but a sneak preview is that it involves the high drama and adventure accompanied by thinking you got your friend's car stolen in queens. marinate on that for a bit.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Miley Cyrus

I just read that now the Christian Coalition of America (CCA) wants Miley Cyrus to be held accountable for the semi-topless photos she just had published in Vanity Fair.

Okay, people, let's just hold on a second. Yes, Miley is 15, yes she is topless, okay, BIG HUGE DEAL, I GUESS. But the photo only shows her back. Is this really such a huge issue? Or am I really missing the point? Did anyone watch her writhing around on stage during Idol Gives Back? I found that much more sexual than this photo.

I just had the worst day ever (more on that later) so maybe my patience is a little thin, but Jesus H. Christ are we really that bored as a nation that this is national news of such epic proportions?

Recently, the New York Times broke a story about how the analysts for the government that we see on TV, the generals marching us into war, are actually PAID by the government to distribute the Bush administration's propaganda. This was picked up by a small handful of the news media, mostly the Sunday morning types. I would say this is a tad more important, don't you think? I probably should blog on this for HuffPo..but I don't have the energy. Instead, I'll complain here. But seriously...let's all really focus on the real issues of this world, shall we?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Not Something You Want to Happen to You

Anyone who has ever lived in Florida or visited Florida - or hell, if you've ever just watched the Discovery Channel - knows that this had to be terrifying. Poor lady!

There's An Alligator in My Kitchen!

Monday, April 14, 2008

This is How You Blog

I recently found the blogs of some of my editors/co-workers at Radar and realized how horribly my blog sucks in comparison. This, my friends, is how you manage to be snarky yet endearing, funny and relevant - all at the same time. I am resisting the urge to erase everything I've ever written on here, and instead, vow to do better. Check them out here and here.

Yeahhhh

Finally, spring is here. You can go out with a light jacket at 7 p.m. and not regret that decision at 2 a.m. There's nary a hat or scarf to be found on anyone, anywhere. I actually wore flip flops to the grocery store on Sunday. Sweet delight!

With the return of the warm weather is the ability to enjoy the parts of New York that are free, read: outside. No more rushing from house to cab to warm bar. As much as I love me a cold beer in a warm bar, I'm ready to venture out a bit.

GC and I took advantage of the now-warm weather with a really fun Saturday night that involved only a pint of ice cream, two spoons and a $2 subway ride to the South pier. I highly recommend this spot for its cop and homeless people-free environment, as well as an amazing view of the Statue of Liberty in front of you and the lights of the financial district behind you. There are plenty of benches and it's just a nice place to chill out and remember that even the biggest city in the world has its little hidden corners. Guys, if you're looking to get all romantic with your lady of choice, this would be the place. Ladies, if you just feel like having an estrogen-filled moment of reflection about why you moved to New York, look no further. Just take the N/W to Whitehall Street or the 6 to Bowling Green.


On a separate note, my little fledgling communications business is doing quite nicely. I'm writing for one magazine, hopefully learning tomorrow if I get to write this summer for another, and freelancing for 3 different agencies to make ends meet. I haven't seen a paycheck in nearly 45 days, but am picking up the first tomorrow so maybe I can finally have creditors stop calling me no matter how many times I assure them that I've never been late on a bill before and am just waiting for my windfall. Yes, I'm talking to you Verizon and American Express. Sigh. I really need that multi-million dollar book advance to come in. Lately, I've looked to this look to this lady for inspiration.

Monday, April 07, 2008

I Forgot How Fun Intellectuals Can Be

Saturday night I ventured out with my friend Skee and her friend C. for an art gallery opening. It's been a long time since I went to a gallery - I'm pretty sure the last time I went was a Terry Richardson photo exhibit, pre-Belevedere vodka ads (here and here) for the movie Brown Bunny, which you may only know as the movie in which Chloe Sevigny gives a real blow j. on camera. The exhibit was gross - it was comprised solely of photos of Richardson being serviced in various ways by boys, girls and tranny combinations thereof. As I watched the hipsters and downtown scenesters - some with their KIDS!- pretend like there was artistic merit in any of it, I decided once and for all that I wasn't cool enough for this crowd and gave up trying to expand my horizons, in this direction anyways. (Though, I do have to admit it feels good when Terry Richardson's name comes up in conversation and I can offer an informed opinion on his work. Full disclosure, this has only happened two times.)

In any case, Saturday night, this trauma firmly behind me, I put on a hiatus on my hiatus and ventured to Soho's Feldman Gallery to view the opening of its Alexander Brodsky exhibit. To my surprise, I actually liked it. It wasn't weird for the sake of being weird, there were cool paintings on put up on light boxes and a few installations. I won't attempt to describe anything here because a.) it wouldn't be intelligent and b.) clicking on Feldman Gallery a few words back will lead you to people who can. In any case, there was free wine and champagne (always a plus) and I got to talk to quite a few cool people, compliments of my friend Skee, a master at the art of introduction.

All that art and conversation got us fired up in the hunger department, so we headed over to Lupe's where we chowed down on Mexican food in the heart of SoHo. Between the frozen mango margarita and the awesome beef enchiladas, I'm afraid that my Mexican food obsession has alive and kicking once more - which means I'm going to be murdering a lot of avocados in the next few weeks as I try to satisfy a never-ending guacamole craving that only stops so I can eat rice and beans in some kind of combination with beef, cheese and tortillas. There's a few more weeks yet til bathing suit season right?

Anyways, thanks to Skee and C. for reminding me how fun SoHo is...I vow to go out there more. And for the reminder that not all art exhibits have to be weird or porn-tastic to be interesting.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Things That Are Never Underrated

So, on Wednesday night I did something I never do - I took myself out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just a glass of red wine and an onion soup (my fave!). I had signed my very first contact for an article in a print magazine and I felt proud of myself and wanted to celebrate in a tiny way. In a crowded restaurant, I sat all by myself, eating my food and drinking my wine and I got to thinking about life's small pleasures - the ones we forget to enjoy while we worry about everything else. Here's my list of 50 Things That Are Never Underrated - literally the first 50 things that came to mind. Feel free to slap on any additions.

1.) Taking yourself out to dinner (obvs)
2.) Getting a massage
3.) Smelling saltwater air
4.) Writing down something you'd rather yell at someone to make yourself feel better
5.) Crunchy leaves under your feet
6.) Having a night of fun that was completely unplanned
7.) Sleeping in
8.) Getting/giving a hug
9.) Putting colored paint on a blank wall
10.) Getting a big, fat check
11.) Feeling like you've got the hang of something
12.) Letting go of something that has made you mad for a long time
13.) Wearing new clothes for the first time
14.) The perfect comeback (during the argument)
15.) Getting the "question" right on Jeopardy
16.) Winning a board game
17.) Cheese!
18.) Making a recipe you found and having it come out right
19.) Being really thirsty and finally getting a sip of water
20.) Just-washed sheets on your bed
21.) Keeping whites white
22.) Getting a new haircut
23.) The first sip of a cold beer
24.) Receiving real mail
25.) PJ's straight from the dryer
26.) Screaming the F-word when you're frustrated
27.) Indulging in a new obsession
28.) Bowling a strike/picking up a spare
29.) Boozy brunch
30.) Laughing uncontrollably at something ridiculous
31.) Reading a book you can't put down
32.) Falling asleep on a full stomach
33.) A cool new pair of shoes
34.) A good hair day
35.) Watching a movie that makes you think for days after
36.) Really nice hotel rooms
37.) Something made of carbs dipped in something else (chips and salsa, pita and hummus, chips and guacamole)
38.) Pizza just the way you like it
39.) The way babies smell
40.) Crying at Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
41.) Finding something you were sure was lost
42.) Sitting by a fire
43.) Hearing the song you want to hear on the radio
44.) A really good steak (or tofu, I guess, if you're a vegetarian)
45.) Making a new friend
46.) Mini anything
47.) Feeling sleep and finally laying down
48.) Realizing you wasted X hours watching your favorite guilty pleasure TV show
49.) Spending a night pleasantly buzzed, not drunk - and no hangover!
50.) Being the first to know something

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Highly Uncomfy

I did not watch this because I don't currently have volume but if it sounds like it looks, it's probably pretty bad.

Jay Leno Continues Downward Spiral

Monday, March 31, 2008

Thank You iPod

Living alone does have its perks, namely in that I can drag my Bose speaker into my bathroom and sing at the top of my lungs in the shower without fear of ridicule - at least not from roommates, my neighbors probably I have their thoughts. But I hardly see them so I don't let that get in the way. Sometimes though, I have to admit, I think I sound pretty good.

Anyway, I've been battling with my emotions pretty good the last week or so. I have officially started doing freelance PR and writing, and though everything is going great it's been extremely stressful trying to think ahead, manage my money and keep motivated. The mental exhaustion has been tough to deal with but there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I found a three-month sublet for my place, I've lined up work through the end of April and I had a good month writing and learning the tricks of the trade.

Saturday night it all kind of caught up to me though, no thanks to three bud lights, a Red bull and a slice of pizza that I spilled cayenne pepper flakes all over. I put on a brave face, but it carried through Sunday when I got some shocking news (to be revealed later) and I spent most of Sunday lying in GC's bed, alternately sleeping, crying, being on the phone and watching him do his taxes until I was finally tempted out of the room with spaghetti and the third installment of John Adams. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, I've been blessed to find an amazing boyfriend who gives me a hug when I'm sad and knows that the way to make me feel better is with food and entertainment. Thank god for you, GC. :)

In any case, this morning I trudged back home in the rain feeling a bit down, but the walk did me good. When I got home, I found a story I had written had been posted and I didn't know it (good for another $150 on my invoice) and that helped turn my mood around a bit and then I worked and felt a bit better. However, I got in the shower and turned on my iPod and the first three songs of the shuffle just seemed to speak to every emotion I've had the last few days and helped me feel a bit normal again.

The first was "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks. I've listened to this song hundreds of times, but when I listened to it today I walked away with something a bit different. Normally, I've applied the words to the world around me - having no regrets, going full-force into city life, etc. - but today I applied the words to myself. I'm not ready to back down against what I want out of my life. I'm disciplined enough to do what I've set out to this time and if I just keep working hard - facing rejection letters, putting out clips teeny bits at a time, I'll get there and I'll have done it my way. When all is said and done, I know that will be a good feeling. I just have to keep at it.

The second was "Working 9 to 5" by Dolly Parton. Over the weekend, GC's improv group played a dance remix of the song while the theater filled and I really liked it. So I downloaded it and for the first time, I really listened to the words. It reinforced what I'm trying to do for myself, taking my life into my own hands and not working for someone who ultimately reaps the benefits of my thoughts and hard work.

Third and finally was "No One" by Alicia Keys. I hardly talk about it on here because I like to keep it a bit separate, but I felt it was appropriate since the song came up in the shuffle. It's not an exact fit to GC and my relationship and we have many other songs that we think apply to us, but the idea of knowing that there is someone in this world who cares about you, who loves you and supports you no matter what, is something I can't quantify. I'll be moving in with GC and his super amazing roommates for three months this summer, which he offered to me because he knew how much saving that money could help along my dream. Again, I'd put how much this means to me in words, but there are none that would do. The songs speaks about not letting anything get in the way of what you feel for someone, and I honestly couldn't love GC more if I tried.

On that sappy note, I'll go. Just cause, I've pasted the words to all the songs below in case anyone else feels the need for some inspiration. I'm now settling in for some Law & Order and Time Magazine (two more things that make me happy) and I'll wake up tomorrow, hopefully ready to go again.

Not Ready to Make Nice
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Workin' 9 to 5
Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin, stretchin, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

Chorus:
Workin 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by
Its all takin
And no givin
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
Its enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, for service and devotion
You would think that i
Would deserve a fair promotion
Want to move ahead
But the boss wont seem to let me in
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me
Mmmmm...

They let your dream
Just a watch em shatter
Youre just a step
On the boss mans a ladder
But you got dream hell never take away

On the same boat
With a lot of your friends
Waitin for the day
Your shipll come in
And the tides gonna turn
An its all gonna roll you away

2nd chorus:

Workin 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by
Its all takin
And no givin
They just use your mind
And you never get the credit
Its enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you
Theres a better life
And you think that I would daunt you
Its a rich mans game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Going funny if you want it

3rd chorus:

Workin 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by
Its all takin
And no givin
They just use you mind
And they never give you credit
Its enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

Fade:

9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you
Theres a better life
And you dream that I would daunt you
Its a rich mans game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Going funny if you want it

No One
I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try try to divide something so real
So till the end of time I'm telling you there is no one

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Did You Ever Notice...

Did you ever notice that God has a funny way of redeeming you when you least expect it? I'm by no means a religious person - I think my friend G. says it best, I'm Catholic a la carte - but I've seen this twice now in the last couple of days and it's been a nice affirmation that what you give is equal to what you get.

First, someone close to me, who has been having a bit of a financial situation recently suddenly came into some money when they needed it most. Without going into detail - the money was quite literally, a godsend. And it was nice to actually see that sometimes unanswered prayers are unanswered for a reason. You'll get yours when it's time.

Second, my own experience. As many of you know, I've recently started working for myself as a freelance writer and PR person - a freelance communications expert if you will. It's been just about a week and I've been very busy, so far so good. However, the decision was not without its uncertainty and sleepless nights. Today I got an insulting email from someone that reinforced to me why I'm better off working for myself. Not long after, I received an incredible work opportunity that will keep me afloat and help further me along the path I'm looking to travel. It was all I could do to not respond to the insulting email with a giant you-know-what, but alas, I'm a professional and I fully believe that you won't get far in business by treating people like s***. And so with that fully in mind, I took the high road and will continue to do so. Funny how something that makes you so angry is almost immediately tempered with something that made me relieved/happy. It's almost as if God was saying - take a deep breath, you're doing just fine.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Working from home has its privelages

I just heard a dog get run over and dragged down the street by a taxi. I heard the impact and the screaming and I thought someone had gotten shot. I ran to my window and the old ladies on the street were going crazy. Good times. For me...not the dog.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Tom Cruise

Is so scary and maniacal! Yikes!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Huffington Post

omg! i'm on it!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lia-lobello/ae-flashing-gene-sim_b_91458.html

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

And another thing!

And another thing pissing meoff today the more I think about it - Silda Wall Spitzer, wife of my fallen hero, Elliott Spitzer, stood by as Elliott pretty much confessed to using a high-priced prostitute on several occasions.

I'm sorry, but NO WAY IN HELL, would I stand on a podium in show of support for my husband if he was just caught having sex with another woman. That bastard could stand up there all alone and let the empty space to his right do the talking.

Why do these wives always stand up there? Let that penis-driven a-hole suffer his humiliation alone! Stand up for ladies, ladies!!!

Disgusting

I have been repulsed that VH1 has been promoting Gene Simmons' reality show by touting the number of women he has slept with. Today, a study was released that says 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD, and last time I checked, we still haven't cured AIDS. Why then, would a national cable network be so irresponsible as to basically promote promiscuity? It's reprehensible and they should be ashamed they've stooped so low.

And we wonder why young girls dress and women feel the need to dress like prostitutes and flash their vaginas to get a magazine to write about them.

What is wrong with our culture?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Celeb Spotting

On a happier note than yesterday - I saw Peter Sarsgaard walking in Soho this morning. Yeah!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Here We Go Again...

To start, a summary of my life, to this point.

I was born, went to college and graduated. Got my first job, at age 23, in South Florida. Hated the job, hated the people, left job when bosses found out I was looking for new jobs - decided to move to New York.

Moved to New York. Turned 24. Got new job. At first, loved the job, loved the people. Over time, hated the job. Stayed 2 years, decided to move back to Florida.

Age 25. Decided not to move back to Florida. Did not work for 6 months. Spent $9,000. Turned 26. (Lest you judge, only a portion of this went to alcohol. A good amount went to coffee. The rest went to regular bills.) Did some freelancing, but decided I needed to go back to work to pay off my credit card debt. Instantly hated job.

Today - now 27, horrifically in debt from a combination of student loans and credit card bills. A rough estimate is somewhere in the neighborhood of $32,000. I intern for a magazine - which I love and today, quit a job that I hate.

The problem? I now need to temp and work part-time and pray that it's enough to pay my rent, eat, pay my bills and get this debt down. I want to write a book. I want to write full time for a magazine.

The problem? I'm now 27 years old! Everyone around me is getting engaged or married or buying houses. Taking vacations to locales I only dream about. Making six figures. And not that I need those things, yet, but I'm completely confused on how everyone seems to be doing all this. Is it at the cost of their day to day happiness? Is this is what life is outside of New York? How do I get my slice of the pie? How do I do without losing my sanity? My work/life balance? My sense of self?

Over the past five years, I've had bosses who've tried to "break me," to insult me into thinking I wasn't good enough to leave, who have asked "Isn't that retarded?" in response to a strategy I've proposed, who have told me the way I scratch my nose "is disgusting." (The consensus is that the way I scratch my nose, is indeed, "cute." I don't want to work for people anymore. I've been so beat down and abused by the crazy bosses I've had, that I feel like I am done. How then, do I make my place in the world without sacrificing myself? I don't want to have to walk into a workplace every day and feel the need to defend myself, if need be. To be on alert for the possible insult sent my way and be ready with a snappy response to put someone in their place. I'm not capable of it - because I don't want to be.

So, in two weeks, I am once again jobless, after suffering yet another debilitating go in an industry that I am now completely finished with. I just can't take it anymore. But the question is - where do I go from here? With magazines cutting staff faster than ever, can I make my way in this new world? I'm going to try - but what if I fail? What then? I feel like, before I know it, I'll be 30, in a debt I will be paying until I'm 60, with nothing to show for all the time, effort and sleepless nights I've spent.

Maybe this is some thing everyone deals with and suffers with silently. Does it have to be? Have I done something wrong in winding up in these professional situations? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I'm not sure I care. If every choice you make leads you to where you're supposed to be - my question is, where the hell am I going?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

My First Article!

So...after two weeks of scouring Manhattan strip clubs, talking to bouncers, finding general managers, asking permission to speak to dancers, waiting at the bar, hanging out in the locker rooms...my first article is published at last:

http://radaronline.com/features/2008/02/diablo_cody_strippers_with_artistic_aspirations_01.php

Pulitzer Prize soon, ya'll!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Published Next Thursday!

My very first story will be published on RadarOnline.com next Thursday! Look for it biotches! Yeah!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

AI: Results, Week 1

First of all, thank God for DVR so I can fast-forward through all of the boring and super-corny song-and-dance routine they make everyone do.

With that said, I think the best part of the whole show was when Garrett was cut and you saw Jason mouth "just like that, huh?" Yes, just like that. If only we could have it be a half hour.

Poor Kristy Lee Cook - deemed safe - was also unfortunately outfitted in pleather and white hooker boots. Poor thing. To drag her in front of America looking like that - and then subject us to her and another possible, unfortunate outfit choice again. Actually, I absolutely hated the way all the girls were dressed tonight, they all looked horrible.

I think the right people went home and I think the girls are much better than the boys.

I found it a tad ironic that American Idol would air Paula and Randy's new song, since Paula is clearly singing through a synthesizer and old girl looked mad stiff in her dance moves. But I liked the song a lot. I'll be jamming out to it fo' sho'.

And goodness that little Danny Noriega is so pretty. I love him!

But by far, the best moment of the night was Simon telling just-cut Colton that he'd never make it music and to get a good job. HAHAHAHAHA.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

American Idol: Season 7

So as much as I can, I'll try to do the real time thoughts on American Idol. Note for first time readers, I have absolutely no entertainment background, I just like to be thoroughly entertained...at all times.

Here goes! Week 1, Boys:

David Hernandez - Nice voice, little stiff. I would NEVER want to go first during the live performances, so you kind of have to feel for the kid. Then again, you think about so many of the people that have come before him who just knock it out of the park on the first time out, and he defintely didn't do that. I think he's forgettable. Sorry David.

Chikieze - First of all, I am automatically slightly wary of anyone who chooses to go by one name right off the bat. Mandisa, anyone? However, I think he did well. He took a well-known song and made it a bit different. I still don't kind of get how people thing that after 7 years starting slow and building to something is going to be an audience clincher, rather than just trying to knock our socks off from the beginning. He looks a little lounge singer-ish for my taste. I don't agree with Simon completely, but I also dont think "Jacuzzi" should have talked back either. Take your criticism at this stage - doesn't anyone watch and strategize? God!

David Cook - I loved him in the auditions and I think that he didn't get enough camera time following. So I'm excited to see what he does right now...(3 minutes later). Not loving the song choice. Appreciate it. Don't love it. I think he missed his major notes? Sometimes it's hard to tell on TV. Overall, ehhhhhhhhhh. I'm surprised the judges liked this. At least he seems nice. And he's cute so I'm guessing the rocker chicks will dig it.

Jason Yaeger - I can't wait until the stylists get rid of those blonde tips. Those must go. Like...now. Sigh - he chooses Moon River. And he's like real corny with his smiles and points. I kind of want to ask, do you hear Moon River playing on ANYTHING else besides an adult contemporary station that runs the Delilah show? That was kind of the song you dedicate to your loved one across the country who "you're missing tonight." Picture that, in the Delilah voice.

Robby Carrico - I think he was in that boy/girl group that covered ABBA songs. Right? I'm almost positive. But I can't remember who they are. And I think he's got the right idea - even though it's 60s, it doesn't have to sound dated. You can tell he's comfortable on the stage. And if I liked rocker guys - then he's TOTALLY hot. But I don't. I liked him a lot. I agree with Simon - this was the only performance thus far that could be considered current.

David Archuleta - First of all, I love this kid. I want to adopt him as my son and raise him to adulthood. I want him to do good. I think he gets it - he chooses a snappy song, something that let's him have a little fun. I think he's better than some of the guys that are more than a decade older than him with children just younger than he is, even if he did look a little nervous. But he's like 17! He'll be through and I will live to possibly adopt him another day. Omg he's so cute, I just want to eat him with a spoon.

Danny Noriega - He's got such a masculine voice for someone so effiminate and if he dated Christian from Project Runway and had a fierce-ness off, I'm not sure Christian would win. And Christian is super fierce. I liked him. I think you have to give it up to everyone who comes out tonight and is just themself and has a good time with it. I liked it. It was fun and I didn't find myself bored with it like I did with other peeps. And he sassed Simon in a good way, while being humble. Plus, he's real pretty.

(aside - Paula and Simon arguing. Ughhhh! I hate these arguments. Sooo annoying and its why I love DVR.)

Luke Menard - Hey, it's Orlando Bloom/Luke Perry on American Idol! Yeah! He looks like the lovechild of both. If he came here to win American Idol, then he picked a song that was mad boring. I'm already playing Scramble. Omg, I think that was the single most boring thing I have ever heard. And his wife's chin just jabbed me in the eye from the TV. And I am sitting back like 10 feet from the TV.

(PS- can you tell my bloody mary just kicked in? Also, why is Paula's voice so shaky? She sounds like she's on the verge of tears.)

Colton Berry - Numero uno - you do not look like Ellen DeGeneres from ANY angle. Sorry. I really like his choice of song but I don't think he's doing anything especially fun with it, and he could. He's not completely boring though. He's wearing bright blue pants as well, I am not sure how I feel about that. Um, he was okay.

(I'm waiting for someone to come out and really just do something awesome here. David has been the best by far. I als dont feel like listening to the judges argue anymore, so I'm fast forwarding once Simon finishes his initial thought.)

Garrett Haley - For the first verse, I was like okay Neil Sedaka, yeah! This will get really rolling in a second. But....he never quite got there. There are so many amazing things you could have done with this song, and he didn't. Ugh. Where are the power notes? The big finishes? Ugh. And Randy just totally said everything I just wrote. I could totally be a judge on AI.

Jason Castro - Here's another one who hasn't gotten a ton of facetime, so I'm curious what he's going to do. He's obviously got a unique look, he's also real pretty. First, props for bringing out the guitar. Great choice of song as well. He may have lost it a bit at the end, but for someone who has only sang in public a few times, I think it was okay. And he looks really humble and surprised at his talent...and I like that.

Michael Johns - Good choice for his voice. And he's fun to watch. I love how the stylists gave him a scarf instead of a tie. So very Australian of him. It's amazing that his 2 minutes went so fast and some others creep by endlessly. He was really good and obviously a semi-professional. Hearts all around!!!

That's it. This is exhausting. Looking forward to the girls tomorrow.

Friday, February 15, 2008

BlackBerry Glitch Results in 100,000,000 Heart Attacks

Black(Berry) Monday

Last Monday’s BlackBerry outage was blamed for more then 100,000,000 heart attacks – of which 99,999,999 million were workaholics in desperate need of a life outside of work.

The remaining victim was an old woman who suffered a heart attack when a Wall Street investment banker yelled in her face on Chambers Street because he had not been able to check the Dow Jones Stock index for 30 seconds.

Dr. Ken Burns of the American Heart Foundation, released the following statement regarding the fragile state of American heart health when workers had to go more then several hours without checking their e-mail and sports scores. “I think the world would have been better without these douches, but c’est la vie.”

The BlackBerry outage was blamed on a system upgrade that parent company, Research in Motion, said resulted in a system-wide glitch.

Research in Motion spokeswoman Tanya Smith said, “We will now conduct all system upgrades between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., which, according to our research, is when our primary user base is doing bumps of cocaine to reach their required number of billable hours. This should help rectify the situation in the future.”

My First Time

I just submitted my first rough draft for a story to an editor. I am really happy with how it's coming out so far and am looking forward to feedback! I'm also continuing with interviews for it throughout tonight before embarking on a well-deserved party weekend.

Oh yeah, my story is about strippers! Yes! Hooray for me!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Jessica Biel

Was named one of Vanity Fair's fresh faces for its latest "Hollywood" issue. Am I missing something here? She's been in several films, none of which did very well (with the exception, I believe, of The Illusionist, but whose weight was carried by her co-stars Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale).

If someone can explain her to me, I'd be really happy to listen. Cause I really don't get it.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Tonight!

Don't forget to tune into tonight's State of the Union address, or as I like to call it, "Bullsh** Fest 2008!"

Among the many topics of discussion, I would go ahead and venture that it will entail a positive, optimistic spin on the war going nowhere, the possible recession, the sub prime mortgage mess, the weakened dollar and too many other horrible things our country is currently dealing with thanks to good old W!! Yay!

My Paranormal Experience with Paranormal State

If you haven't checked out the super-creepy TV show Paranormal State on A&E, get to a DVR/Tivo near you immediately and get on it! It's a fun show, full of all types of interesting ghost stories, demon sightings, EVP experiences, etc. If you love hearing about supernatural experiences, so long they are not your own, like I do, then you'll enjoy this show.

A few weeks ago, around 11 p.m., I was in the middle of an especially scary episode, where the team was just about to go into a room where a motion detector was going off despite the fact that THERE WAS NO ONE IN THE ROOM - when my phone rang. I hit pause because I needed to devote my full energies into viewing the show and proceeded to chat away for the next hour.

During the chat, as I'm prone to do, I forgot that I was in the middle of something before I answered the phone, looked at the clock, realized it was past midnight and decided I'd go to sleep. So I prepared for bed, ending by getting out my book and reading for about 45 minutes to wind down. I realized it was getting really late and I closed the light. Then, and I don't normally do this, but for some reason I started thinking about the show as I drifted off and got a little nervous. I woke up, read for like 30 more minutes to clear my mind, and about 1:30 or 1:45 a.m. I was calmed down enough to go to sleep for real.

Just as I am about to go out, I was jolted awake by a god awful beeping/blaring noise. Within a second, I realized that the noise was coming from inside my house and I became instantly paralyzed with fear. All I could do was lay on my side, in the darkness, eyes wide open, not breathing, listening to this horrific sound that took me 3 more seconds to peg as coming from the direct center of my living room.

It all happened so fast, but around the 10 second mark, the noise clicked in my brain. It was the test from the Emergency Broadcast System. I had left the TV on pause, I never turned it off, and they must be doing whatever test that they do.

I was 99 % sure this was the noise now, but I still had to get up out of bed and make sure. I turned on the light and turned on the hallway light and noting the fact that there seemed to be no demonic spirits flying about my living room, dashed out in front of the TV to confirm.

It was indeed the Emergency Broadcast System doing whatever they do, checking whatever they check.

I'm not quite sure what I would have done had I looked at the TV and there was no test going on, but hopefully, I'll never have to think about that.

In any case, now I was wide awake, jittery and had to turn off all the lights in my apartment. And the TV. Again.

So I flicked everything off and made a dash for the bed, jumped in and pulled the covers up. I grabbed my book and began to read. It took me about another half-hour to come down, and I gathered my courage to turn off the light for Take Two of "Lia Goes to Sleep."

This time, was able to drift off and stay asleep, without incident.

Friday, January 25, 2008

At Least Someone Had a Brain

I read a great story on CNN today about how a flight instructor at the Minnesota flight school where Zacarias Moussaoui was training for 9/11, received $5 million from the state department for his tip that Moussaoui was suspicious. Based on his tip, Moussaoui was put in jail on the grounds of his expired French passport and could not participate in the attacks as the 20th highjacker. To this date, he is the only 9/11 co-conspirator charged with a crime. The fact that this man had the foresight to be suspicious in a pre 9/11 world is pretty fantastic. It's money very well-deserved and I hope he enjoys it.

Among the things the instructor found suspicious, that his superiors chose to ignore:

- Moussaoui payed the $6,800 for his training in $100 bills, a fact that at first, his bosses did not question.

- Moussaoui was learning how to operate a 747 with only 50 hours of flight training behind him. Normally, the school taught pilots with 500-600 hours of flying time behind them, mostly of whom were commercial pilots training so they could be paid more at their airline jobs.

- Wanting to learn more about Moussaoui before teaching him further, the instructor asked him if he was Muslim, to which Moussaoui yelled, "I am nothing!" Note, that in this post-9/11 world this seems much more menacing that it would at the time, so to note the strangeness of this answer in a pre-9/11 world makes this man all the more a hero.

- To keep Moussaoui engaged in his lessons while his bosses finally consented to bring in the FBI, the instructor let him sit on other students' flight simulations but did not allow him to do his own.

The man noted in Moussaoui's trial that while he thought Moussaoui strange, he did just want to make sure that he wasn't training a hijacker. Obviously, he could not have known what kind of hijacker Moussauoi was training to be, but by simply listening to his gut, only God knows how many additional lives this man saved. It is believed Moussaoui planned to highjack a JFK-bound plane from Heathrow airport.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Onion: Bill Clinton Running for President!

The Onion - which prints fake news - ran this hilarious "article" today on Bill Clinton's "announcement" that he is running for President. If only! I'm currently reading Volume 1 "The Early Years," of his autobiography, "My Life," and it's pretty astounding. He accomplished such ridiculous amounts by the time he was my age, half the time that I am reading it, I feel like the stupidest person in the world. The other half I feel like I should just slit my wrists, cause clearly I'm not contributing to society in any meaningful way, nor will I probably ever. (Unless I live up to my 2008 New Year's resolution in a post to follow later today.)

Anyways, check it out here. It's hysterical. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/bill_clinton_screw_it_im_running

2008: Don't Settle

Some of you noticed that I took down my super-mushy post about 2007. Or at least, I deemed it mushy and took it down. It matters not, because 2007 is now firmly behind me and I've taken the necessary steps to live up to my 2008 New Year's resolution, which is solely, "Don't Settle."

In the past I have made lists upon lists of things I would do in a given year - learn Italian, read 50 books, read 80 books, travel, call people more often, yada yada yada.

The only thing that ever got me was a June reality check that I had six months left to do everything I said I would do, which at that point, was impossible.

So starting in November of 2007, I started to think about what a good main goal would be for 2008 and I settled on the idea of not settling at all. For anything. Too often in 2007, I felt that I was letting too many good things pass me by. I realized that I had sometimes given up my own sanity and well-being for causes that weren't worthy. I wasn't doing anything creatively that could fulfill my need to have a better work/life balance. I didn't say what I felt, when I felt it. So many other things I could mention but I think you get the point.

That's not to say the year wasn't without it's highlights - I fulfilled a lifelong dream of going to Greece. I met and fell for an amazing guy that has become my best friend and continues to be the highlight of every day. I moved into an apartment solo, fulfilling a promise to myself to try this before life carried me in another direction. It was definitely a year of change. But that change didn't come without some serious emotional and psychological consequences. Maybe it's something I had to live through to come out better on the other side. In any case, it's not something I care to repeat.

So...with that said, I'm happy to announce that the first action I took in 2008 was to take the first steps in testing the waters of a new career - writing.

Starting in February, I will be cutting back on my current job to part-time and starting to write for a magazine's Web site 2 days a week. As more information on this can be told, I will tell it. But I feel like I'm sticking my toes in water - will it be hot or will it be cold? I'll find out and maybe, just maybe, I can start to create the opportunities that will allow me to have the life I've wanted to lead for so long.

I think life is too short to wake up and wish the day was done. I'm tired of living for 6 p.m. And this is the first step to not doing that anymore.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Yeahhhh, Police Talk

Finally, police talk that sounds like what police talk should sound like! Responding to a quadruple-murder that needs solving, the sheriff of Indianapolis says to the suspects via the news media:


"There's a special place in hell for you, and we're going to see that you get there," Anderson said. "I've been working with the mayor and everyone else. We'll work together. We've got a team and we're going to find you. We're going to put you in the dog cage that you belong."

I feel like you just don't hear this kind of talk anymore. I wouldn't want to be on this guy's bad side! The only thing that would have made these sentences any better is the word, "motherfu**er," but alas, he was on TV.

Coincidence?

Ahead of Steve Jobs' highly-anticipated keynote speech today at the MacWorld Expo, I just got an email from Netflix saying as part of my subscription, I can now enjoy unlimited movie rentals on my PC. There has been speculation that Jobs is expected to announce a movie rental plan through iTunes.

Coincidence?

Sidenote: How f*ing nerdy am I to know this? Or worse, piece it together?

Monday, January 14, 2008

My dearest CNN

I can't believe even CNN is covering Britney's trial today. Is this news really that big? Does anyone really believe this girl SHOULD show up to court? In not showing up, she relinquishes her rights to custody of her children until at least April. Does anyone believe that she should have custody before then? The girl has serious issues that need to be straightened out before any child, hers or otherwise, is entrusted in her care.

Regardless, I'm just am kinda boggled that CNN is there. I mean, CNN???

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Did I Predict Alex Trebek's Heart Attack?

Remember a few months ago when Alex Trebek had a heart attack? I kept my joy at this fortunate turn of events secret. I was just looking back at former posts and found this gem from October 2006. Turns out, I put it into the universe that I wanted Alex Trebek to up and die. I almost got my wish!

Alex Trebek
No one person on Earth inspires such hatred in me as Alex Trebek, though I continue to watch Jeopardy, but only to test my own knowledge. If he had a massive heart attack and died right during a Daily Double, I’d stand up and cheer. I hate the way he has to pretend like he knows all the accents when the answer involved another language b/c A.) He does not know all the accents and B.) He sucks at accents. I also hate the way he pretends like he knew the answer when someone answers incorrectly. He’s so condescending, like “Nooooo Mary, I’m sorry. The correct answer is, “What is Mount Kilomanjaro?” Then he always repeats with a useless fact, just to “impress” us, like “Mount Kilomanjaro, located in the Iberian Peninsula, lovely place.” F*** YOU ALEX!! Like everyone at home doesn’t know you have the f*ing answer on a computer screen in front of you! And no one cares what you think of the Iberian Peninsula. God I hate him!

Anyways, last night, the first round opens and Alex actually says, “Get ‘er done.” I was like what the f***??? Did Alex just say Get ‘er done??? Now we’re supposed to think he’s hip AND smart??? Can’t you just die already Alex? Die!

Hooray!

Hillary Clinton came away victorious in yesterday's New Hampshire primary putting her one step closer to the WH! I must be honest, though my love of Hillary Clinton knows no bounds, I would be just as happy with Barack Obama. We MUST have a democratic president elected in 2008.

But can you imagine - Madame President?! My mom reminded me that roughly 22 years ago I promised her I would be first female president of the United States, though I was also simultaneously promising to be first female major leaguer, but in any case...yes! Am I right, ladies?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Sarcastic Voice: New Yorkers are So Wacky!

The fact that he works for The Colbert Report only makes sense. New Yorkers are so crazy, right? What the story doesn't explain is where he sleeps after the store closes at midnight or where he goes on Sundays...which, to me, means that if he is not sleeping overnight at the store, then he is technically not living there. Unless I'm missing something...

In any case, check out the hilarious hijinks below!

PS - I'm feeling real sarcastic today!

Comedian is living in an Ikea store

PARAMUS, New Jersey (AP) -- When Mark Malkoff thought about where he could stay while his New York City apartment was being fumigated for cockroaches, he quickly ruled out friends' places (too small) and hotels (too expensive).

Mark Malkoff sits on a display bed in a showroom at the Ikea store in Paramus, New Jersey.

Instead, the comedian and filmmaker decided to move into an Ikea store in suburban New Jersey, where on Monday he unloaded two suitcases into a spacious bedroom at the store.

At night when the store is closed, he says he'll play laser tag with security guards and even plans to host a housewarming party.

"The fact that Ikea is letting me do this is mind-boggling," said Malkoff, lounging on a bed in his new room. "There's no way I'm going back. I love this way too much." Video Comedian gives tour of his new digs »

Malkoff, who works for Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" as a ticket handler, is allowed to stay until Ikea closes at about midnight on Saturday; the store, famous for its low-cost do-it-yourself furniture, is closed on Sundays.

Malkoff, 31, is known for his 2007 video "171 Starbucks" which documents his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day.

Deputy store manager Julie Mott said Malkoff contacted the store about three weeks ago and presented a proposal to move in.

"We thought it would be a lot of fun and interesting," Mott said. "We're not really sure what this week holds."

He is being followed by a camera crew documenting his stay for a video, which will be shown on his Web site.

But despite the hospitality, Malkoff did find a few problems: The sinks don't work, and neither does the toilet, refrigerator, flat-screen television or the washer and dryer.

"Is anything real in this place?" he asked.

He must shower in the staff locker room and will have access to the staff cafeteria to cook his own meals, if he chooses, Mott said.

However, the Ikea display does offer more spacious living than his two-bedroom Queens apartment.

"I feel like I'm on the set of 'Friends,"' he said, adding that he has met a few new faux friends -- customers who wandered into his new apartment.
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His wife of 2 1/2 years, Christine, isn't as thrilled with his new digs and has instead opted to stay with relatives in upstate New York.

"For some reason," he said, "she doesn't want to live in a store."

Friday, January 04, 2008

Back!

Happy 2008! I'm back...and hoping to post more than I got to in 07.

First things first, Trainwreck Spears in the hospital under suicide watch. I feel very sorry for Britney because there is clearly no one in her life that cares about her. Her mother's response - "just say prayers."

I am so sick of people hiding behind religious statements like these. If one daughter is in the hospital under suicide watch and the other is knocked up at 16, I'm going to go ahead and guess that prayer is no longer working for you. Or as GC mentioned, God stopped helping the Spears family some time ago. Maybe you should stop living off your kids' money and actually parent them. Stupid a-holes are what's making me mad in 2008.