Another Reason to Hate Clowns

In Ireland today, a hot-air balloon caught fire during a circus stunt, killing a clown acrobat as dozens of children watched.

Now this is obviously sad and I’m sorry that it happened. But it also just gives me another reason to hate clowns.

I never used to hate clowns, it was everyone else’s fear of clowns that made me take a closer look at how freakish they really are. If you are a clown and are reading this, I’m sorry…but there is something scary about the Casper face and giant blood red mouth that are the staples of most clown faces. Those huge eyes…ugh I shudder just thinking about it.

Not too long ago, I rented the David LaChapelle movie Rize about a group of people in California who krump, which is this crazy form of dancing..but they do it dressed as clowns. The movie got great reviews and I’m all for dance movies in general…but about a half hour in, I just couldn’t get over the clown thing. And crazy looking clowns doing crazy, seizure-like dances? Are you kidding me? It was terrifying. I should also note that this was the same day as St. Patrick’s Day in Hoboken, where I drank for 11 hours straight before getting a piece of pizza, stealing a Snapple, shoveling some M&M's in my mouth, running for the Path train and then collapsing on my couch with only a vague idea of how I go there. So I may have been pre-disposed to terror, but only a little bit.

Witnesses at the circus said the man, dressed in a clown outfit, was hanging from a cage suspended by ropes and a hot-air balloon inside the canvas tent. When the balloon exploded in flames, the cage fell on top of the man.

How ironic is it that this happens, but never the guys who work with the lions or bears? It’s always the f***ing clowns isn’t it?