The Book is Back!
Every once in a while I reference this fantastic novel I'm supposed to be writing, the problem is I've been suffering from writer's block for quite some time. I was having trouble coming up with a beginning and so I was just kind of writing a middle. The problem is the beginning of a book sets the direction, tone and plot for everything to follow and so without it, I felt like everything I wrote lacked coherency.
Well there's nothing like an empty stomach, a couple tablespoons of Robitussin and a shot of concentrated coffee to get the creative ideas flowing. I stopped off at the coffee shop to get some coffee and a muffin on my way to go into work for a bit since I haven't been there since Wednesday. Forgetting I was not in Starbucks, I ordered a macchiatto, which in Starbucks is caramel, milk and a little bit of coffee. However, in real life I guess it's supposed to be a shot of coffee. Which is EXACTLY what it was, a shot of caffeine that coursed through my veins in about .5 seconds and gave me the feeling like I was high. It was how I was when I first began drinking coffee and used to call my friends talking about 25 miles an hour. However, since my phone was dying there was no one to call and I wound up having an internal conversation instead. An internal conversation which resulted in the first three pages of my new book. And the good news I have a tone, a direction, a new title and a defined plot. Hooray! Publication for 2008 baby!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Viral Infection
So I currently have a viral infection that is preventing me from going to work or basically doing anything but get up off the couch except to go to the bathroom and eat. And even those two things are exhausting. I was told the virus has to "run its course" and I can't do anything. Which is fine. I am cool with that. However, I realized New York has made me a workaholic. I was obsessed with the fact that I had to go in for a conference call (which thankfully was cancelled). What is wrong with me? I'm hacking my brains out, and my brains feel like they're being smashed in...and I'm wondering about the conference call. It's a sad, sad state of affairs I tell you.
The good news is I get a nice four-day weekend. The bad news is that it only serves to show me how badly the five day week really sucks. I wonder if I've amassed enough experience to freelance....hmm....
Bloggers to Book Deals
I've been reading a lot lately about the transition many of the Web's favorite bloggers have outed themselves and gotten bookdeals. It's kind of depressing, b/c seriously...THATS THE LIFE I WANT TO LEAD!!!!! The thing is, I know that if I want a book deal, I actually have to sit and write a book. Which is much easier said than done. I'm glad to see there are many in the same boat, sad to see that many of them are actually doing it and I'm wasting my evenings and weekends watching pointless TV (I was home sick and watched Dr. 90210 for two hours) when I could be securing my future summer homes around the world. Why is following your dreams so damn hard? Can't I just buy some kind of genie pot, make three wishes and have the book write itself? Now that would be ideal. One of my New Year's resolutions was to write for at least 15 minutes every day, and I'm happy to say that this has more or less been true, however, I've only done so on this blog. Now maybe that's a start but in truth, it's not getting the book any farther along. I've been stalled on page 9 for so long that I feel like starting over. Can I just win the lottery and call it a day already?
So I currently have a viral infection that is preventing me from going to work or basically doing anything but get up off the couch except to go to the bathroom and eat. And even those two things are exhausting. I was told the virus has to "run its course" and I can't do anything. Which is fine. I am cool with that. However, I realized New York has made me a workaholic. I was obsessed with the fact that I had to go in for a conference call (which thankfully was cancelled). What is wrong with me? I'm hacking my brains out, and my brains feel like they're being smashed in...and I'm wondering about the conference call. It's a sad, sad state of affairs I tell you.
The good news is I get a nice four-day weekend. The bad news is that it only serves to show me how badly the five day week really sucks. I wonder if I've amassed enough experience to freelance....hmm....
Bloggers to Book Deals
I've been reading a lot lately about the transition many of the Web's favorite bloggers have outed themselves and gotten bookdeals. It's kind of depressing, b/c seriously...THATS THE LIFE I WANT TO LEAD!!!!! The thing is, I know that if I want a book deal, I actually have to sit and write a book. Which is much easier said than done. I'm glad to see there are many in the same boat, sad to see that many of them are actually doing it and I'm wasting my evenings and weekends watching pointless TV (I was home sick and watched Dr. 90210 for two hours) when I could be securing my future summer homes around the world. Why is following your dreams so damn hard? Can't I just buy some kind of genie pot, make three wishes and have the book write itself? Now that would be ideal. One of my New Year's resolutions was to write for at least 15 minutes every day, and I'm happy to say that this has more or less been true, however, I've only done so on this blog. Now maybe that's a start but in truth, it's not getting the book any farther along. I've been stalled on page 9 for so long that I feel like starting over. Can I just win the lottery and call it a day already?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Rice + Soy Sauce + Appletinis Does Not Equal Fun
In case anyone was ever wondering, these three things do not go well together. Last night, unaware, I mixed the three and then I paid for it dearly from 2 a.m.-4 a.m. And when I say “paid for it dearly” I mean I would rather have had both my legs broken rather than ever feel that way again.
I went to a professional social to drink, mingle and hang out for a little bit after work. It had been a rough Monday so I thought it would help loosen me up for the rest of the week.
Mr. Curly-Haired Bartender, age 21, was going heavy on the vodka, light on the Sour Apple Puckers for mixing the Appletinis. I had two and was sufficiently buzzed to feel good about going out on a rainy Monday.
I needed to make it home in time for “24,” so around 8:30 Pia, Annette and I jumped in the cab to travel the 12 blocks home. Yes we are lazy and no, I don’t care.
When we got home, I heated up a small amount of rice I had leftover from the night before, gave it a few shakes of soy sauce and ate it. Looking back, I maybe had like 6 forkfulls…but I’ve eaten way less than that after drinking on an empty stomach and never had a problem. Anywho, Kiefer rocked it on TV and then at 10:15 I got in bed ready for a good night’s sleep.
And all was well until I bolted upright at 2 a.m. and realized I was going to be totally sick. And I was repeatedly until 4, when I passed out again from sheer physical exertion. I couldn’t get warm under the covers, I had a piece of toast sitting on the pillow next to my head (I’ll deal with the crumbs tonight) and a Dr. Pepper open by the side of the bed. It was awful. I don’t know if I manually dehydrated myself by not eating right and pumping myself full of salt after drinking very strong drinks…or maybe it was just karma and I spoke too soon about having the best day ever. But in any case, let this be a lesson to all. Soy Sauce, Rice and Appletinis should never rendezvous in your body. You’ll be sorry if they do.
In case anyone was ever wondering, these three things do not go well together. Last night, unaware, I mixed the three and then I paid for it dearly from 2 a.m.-4 a.m. And when I say “paid for it dearly” I mean I would rather have had both my legs broken rather than ever feel that way again.
I went to a professional social to drink, mingle and hang out for a little bit after work. It had been a rough Monday so I thought it would help loosen me up for the rest of the week.
Mr. Curly-Haired Bartender, age 21, was going heavy on the vodka, light on the Sour Apple Puckers for mixing the Appletinis. I had two and was sufficiently buzzed to feel good about going out on a rainy Monday.
I needed to make it home in time for “24,” so around 8:30 Pia, Annette and I jumped in the cab to travel the 12 blocks home. Yes we are lazy and no, I don’t care.
When we got home, I heated up a small amount of rice I had leftover from the night before, gave it a few shakes of soy sauce and ate it. Looking back, I maybe had like 6 forkfulls…but I’ve eaten way less than that after drinking on an empty stomach and never had a problem. Anywho, Kiefer rocked it on TV and then at 10:15 I got in bed ready for a good night’s sleep.
And all was well until I bolted upright at 2 a.m. and realized I was going to be totally sick. And I was repeatedly until 4, when I passed out again from sheer physical exertion. I couldn’t get warm under the covers, I had a piece of toast sitting on the pillow next to my head (I’ll deal with the crumbs tonight) and a Dr. Pepper open by the side of the bed. It was awful. I don’t know if I manually dehydrated myself by not eating right and pumping myself full of salt after drinking very strong drinks…or maybe it was just karma and I spoke too soon about having the best day ever. But in any case, let this be a lesson to all. Soy Sauce, Rice and Appletinis should never rendezvous in your body. You’ll be sorry if they do.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Best Day Ever
Every once in a while I have what I like to call, the Best Day Ever. Best Day’s Ever are those special days in your life, when the universe aligns in such a way, as to make you realize that not everything sucks. And that you kick ASS. Today is one of those days.
I pressed snooze an unprecedented four times this morning, waking up at 8:10. I made it work at 8:59. Right on time bitches! And I look cute. Take that.
Shortly thereafter I got a call from one of my best friends, telling me he’s engaged! Str8 outta the ABQ, Mr. J-Fo is the first of the Buttermilks to bite the dust. And I’m in the wedding…my first such invitation! The best day ever continues.
I sign on to MySpace, and find, via bulletin, that Dane Cook is playing in Boston in April. One quick flurry of emails later and not only am I going to see him (my future fiancée for all those wondering) but I have a free place to stay. What! What! Dane Cook in his hometown? That’s just f-ing ridiculous. Plus I love Boston.
At the rate things are going, Dave Chappelle is going to walk into my office and offer me a job just b/c he reads this blog and thinks I’m so damn funny and witty and smart and I just HAVE to be a part of his comedic writing team. Stay tuned as the BEST DAY EVER continues.
Every once in a while I have what I like to call, the Best Day Ever. Best Day’s Ever are those special days in your life, when the universe aligns in such a way, as to make you realize that not everything sucks. And that you kick ASS. Today is one of those days.
I pressed snooze an unprecedented four times this morning, waking up at 8:10. I made it work at 8:59. Right on time bitches! And I look cute. Take that.
Shortly thereafter I got a call from one of my best friends, telling me he’s engaged! Str8 outta the ABQ, Mr. J-Fo is the first of the Buttermilks to bite the dust. And I’m in the wedding…my first such invitation! The best day ever continues.
I sign on to MySpace, and find, via bulletin, that Dane Cook is playing in Boston in April. One quick flurry of emails later and not only am I going to see him (my future fiancée for all those wondering) but I have a free place to stay. What! What! Dane Cook in his hometown? That’s just f-ing ridiculous. Plus I love Boston.
At the rate things are going, Dave Chappelle is going to walk into my office and offer me a job just b/c he reads this blog and thinks I’m so damn funny and witty and smart and I just HAVE to be a part of his comedic writing team. Stay tuned as the BEST DAY EVER continues.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Just One Conversation
Over the course of the last few months, I’ve been very contemplative. Part of it is winter blues since the weather in the Northeast can’t seem to make up its damn mind and decide whether it’s going to be warm, cold, rainy, sunny, gloomy, cloudy, snowy or hailing on any given day. Each day I wake up wondering what to wear, if I need a hat, what's the meaning of life, I'm hungry and... can I wear my suede boots? Oh, life in LiaLand is very difficult indeed.
But seriously, I have been a little more introspective than I normally like to be, and I think it’s in no small part due to the fact that it’s become extremely obvious to me that small moments over the course of the last few months have seemed to shape the course of my life.
It just struck me as so funny that we, as human beings, do all these big, huge things to ensure we live the lives we think we want to lead. We go to college, we rack up thousands of dollars of debt for the sake of a piece of paper from a specific institution that lends us prestige, we get on planes and live thousands of miles from everything we know…just for the idea that we’re doing something big. Something bigger than ourselves. But although these things certainly shape who we are, and play their part in determining the success we find, it’s so often the teeny tiny moments that cause us to make our biggest decisions.
For me, that moment was nothing more than one glance across a crowded room that renewed a relationship I thought there was no chance of saving. After that moment, I went home and had a conversation that changed my course of thinking…and just the other day, I had a follow-up to that conversation that affirmed that what I am doing is right. Perhaps I’ll blog about the details later, right now, it’s just too new to discuss out loud, but I can’t help but be amazed that I’ve traveled this far in my life…done so much, just to have these three slivers of time, because all they are is slivers, determine the future I want to live.
It’s impossible not to note that perhaps the reason I recognized these moments for what they were is precisely because I’ve done all the things I have done. One could have not have existed without the other. It just strikes me weird that’s all. You would think that the things that shape our lives would be huge, earth-shattering events….not teeny fragments of time.
On another note, I am menstrual and therefore, feeling this way. The blogs about guidos, food, rude New Yorkers and excessive amounts of drinking will soon return. In the meantime, it's back to the fun stuff at work... a fact sheet about candle fountains! Yeah!!!!!!!
Over the course of the last few months, I’ve been very contemplative. Part of it is winter blues since the weather in the Northeast can’t seem to make up its damn mind and decide whether it’s going to be warm, cold, rainy, sunny, gloomy, cloudy, snowy or hailing on any given day. Each day I wake up wondering what to wear, if I need a hat, what's the meaning of life, I'm hungry and... can I wear my suede boots? Oh, life in LiaLand is very difficult indeed.
But seriously, I have been a little more introspective than I normally like to be, and I think it’s in no small part due to the fact that it’s become extremely obvious to me that small moments over the course of the last few months have seemed to shape the course of my life.
It just struck me as so funny that we, as human beings, do all these big, huge things to ensure we live the lives we think we want to lead. We go to college, we rack up thousands of dollars of debt for the sake of a piece of paper from a specific institution that lends us prestige, we get on planes and live thousands of miles from everything we know…just for the idea that we’re doing something big. Something bigger than ourselves. But although these things certainly shape who we are, and play their part in determining the success we find, it’s so often the teeny tiny moments that cause us to make our biggest decisions.
For me, that moment was nothing more than one glance across a crowded room that renewed a relationship I thought there was no chance of saving. After that moment, I went home and had a conversation that changed my course of thinking…and just the other day, I had a follow-up to that conversation that affirmed that what I am doing is right. Perhaps I’ll blog about the details later, right now, it’s just too new to discuss out loud, but I can’t help but be amazed that I’ve traveled this far in my life…done so much, just to have these three slivers of time, because all they are is slivers, determine the future I want to live.
It’s impossible not to note that perhaps the reason I recognized these moments for what they were is precisely because I’ve done all the things I have done. One could have not have existed without the other. It just strikes me weird that’s all. You would think that the things that shape our lives would be huge, earth-shattering events….not teeny fragments of time.
On another note, I am menstrual and therefore, feeling this way. The blogs about guidos, food, rude New Yorkers and excessive amounts of drinking will soon return. In the meantime, it's back to the fun stuff at work... a fact sheet about candle fountains! Yeah!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
New BFF
So..this morning I made a new BFF. Serena Altschul, formerly of MTV News, currently of CBS News (I think...we're new BFF's, not old ones) called moi to get a cushion one of my clients manufactures. In case you do not know who Serena is, perhaps the photo will jog your memory. Before Gideon Gaygo, I mean Yago, there was Serena. Normally I only get the assistants to the stars, not the stars themselves. Today marks a new beginning in my degree of closeness to celebrity!
Perhaps this is negated by the fact that I have not called back the assistants to Marcia Cross and Alicia Keyes for weeks....however, Laurence Fishburne's assistant and I are likethis. Sweet.
That's about all I have time for today...don't be jealous, this job isn't that cool. Basically these celebs get S*** for free and I send it to them. It's not very glamorous...but it will greatly help the novel I'm trying to write. And getting no where with just yet. I mean, struggling to find the time to draft.....
So..this morning I made a new BFF. Serena Altschul, formerly of MTV News, currently of CBS News (I think...we're new BFF's, not old ones) called moi to get a cushion one of my clients manufactures. In case you do not know who Serena is, perhaps the photo will jog your memory. Before Gideon Gaygo, I mean Yago, there was Serena. Normally I only get the assistants to the stars, not the stars themselves. Today marks a new beginning in my degree of closeness to celebrity!
Perhaps this is negated by the fact that I have not called back the assistants to Marcia Cross and Alicia Keyes for weeks....however, Laurence Fishburne's assistant and I are likethis. Sweet.
That's about all I have time for today...don't be jealous, this job isn't that cool. Basically these celebs get S*** for free and I send it to them. It's not very glamorous...but it will greatly help the novel I'm trying to write. And getting no where with just yet. I mean, struggling to find the time to draft.....
Friday, January 13, 2006
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris scored a touchdown in hockey. The extra point was good.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris scored a touchdown in hockey. The extra point was good.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Subway Adventures
As opposed to what most people might imagine, most of my commute on the subway each and every day is uneventful. However, it only takes one instance to remind you that we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Yesterday, my subway car was rather empty. The middle of the car was had no one standing there, all the poles were unoccupied…just the seats were all taken, as was a majority of the space against the door.
I walked into the car and went for my favorite spot, against the door…because there you can just lean back and you don’t have to touch anything. The lady behind me, I could tell wanted that spot…but too bad, you got on second and I got on first.
However, she decided not to take an empty space…but rather to stand right in front of me. I’m talking where my toe ended, her heel began. For those of you who don’t ride the subway, in this position , there is nothing to hold onto. There is a little seat handle that’s pretty low…in short, it makes no sense to stand there when the entire middle of the car is open.
I looked from left to right like Is this bitch crazy? She was so close I acutally couldn't even put my newspaper in front of me, I had to hold it to the side. I was flabbergasted...total invasion of my no-fly zone.
Sometimes, when something obviously weird to you happens on the subway, you can get the wink of understanding from a fellow normal passenger. However, everyone was buried in their newspapers/books/Ipods and I received no such wink. I suffered my fury in silence while everyone else just enjoyed their personal space.
Then when it was time to get off, the bitch didn’t even move. I shoved past her and knocking her off balance (just slightly, before everyone says, what’s wrong with you) gave me a great deal satisfaction. Maybe next time, she’ll realize if you want the door spot, you gotta beat me to it. But more than likely, that’s not going happen. If someday our paths cross again, bitch is going down.
As opposed to what most people might imagine, most of my commute on the subway each and every day is uneventful. However, it only takes one instance to remind you that we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Yesterday, my subway car was rather empty. The middle of the car was had no one standing there, all the poles were unoccupied…just the seats were all taken, as was a majority of the space against the door.
I walked into the car and went for my favorite spot, against the door…because there you can just lean back and you don’t have to touch anything. The lady behind me, I could tell wanted that spot…but too bad, you got on second and I got on first.
However, she decided not to take an empty space…but rather to stand right in front of me. I’m talking where my toe ended, her heel began. For those of you who don’t ride the subway, in this position , there is nothing to hold onto. There is a little seat handle that’s pretty low…in short, it makes no sense to stand there when the entire middle of the car is open.
I looked from left to right like Is this bitch crazy? She was so close I acutally couldn't even put my newspaper in front of me, I had to hold it to the side. I was flabbergasted...total invasion of my no-fly zone.
Sometimes, when something obviously weird to you happens on the subway, you can get the wink of understanding from a fellow normal passenger. However, everyone was buried in their newspapers/books/Ipods and I received no such wink. I suffered my fury in silence while everyone else just enjoyed their personal space.
Then when it was time to get off, the bitch didn’t even move. I shoved past her and knocking her off balance (just slightly, before everyone says, what’s wrong with you) gave me a great deal satisfaction. Maybe next time, she’ll realize if you want the door spot, you gotta beat me to it. But more than likely, that’s not going happen. If someday our paths cross again, bitch is going down.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The Buttermilk Unites Again....
As you graduate college, begin jobs and start working, it becomes harder and harder to see the friends you saw everyday for four years. For my group of friends, we’ve done an excellent job of keeping in touch via phone and e-mail, but unfortunately, haven’t had the whole group united since May 2003…to be exact...precisely since Ryan and I graduated and moved out of GVille.
But this past Christmas (and Hannukah for Gilad) the Buttermilks reunited in Orlando, Florida to celebrate Bmoney’s 25th Bday. An excellent time was had by all, especially by Brandon, who drank like a champ, ate pizza, managed to keep it all down and wake up first for breakfast the next day!
The following are some of the highlights from the trip, with the Milks and some special friends. Look for the 2nd annual Buttermilk reunion to take place in late ’06..hopefully at Florida/Georgia in Jacksonville....
As you graduate college, begin jobs and start working, it becomes harder and harder to see the friends you saw everyday for four years. For my group of friends, we’ve done an excellent job of keeping in touch via phone and e-mail, but unfortunately, haven’t had the whole group united since May 2003…to be exact...precisely since Ryan and I graduated and moved out of GVille.
But this past Christmas (and Hannukah for Gilad) the Buttermilks reunited in Orlando, Florida to celebrate Bmoney’s 25th Bday. An excellent time was had by all, especially by Brandon, who drank like a champ, ate pizza, managed to keep it all down and wake up first for breakfast the next day!
The following are some of the highlights from the trip, with the Milks and some special friends. Look for the 2nd annual Buttermilk reunion to take place in late ’06..hopefully at Florida/Georgia in Jacksonville....
Friday, January 06, 2006
Back in early December, we had a going away party for Aunt Patty to celebrate her move to Florida. I didn't add many of the pictures of people dancing, but if you use your imagination to see finger-pointing, disco-dancing and lots of singing shots- you're there.
Also, check out my discovery on the true relationship of Frosty and Santa- exposed!
Also, check out my discovery on the true relationship of Frosty and Santa- exposed!
Why is the Grass Greener?
Ever since the age of 18, I’ve been suffering from “grass is greener” syndrome. The idea in my head that no matter where I am, or no matter how well I’m doing, something else and somewhere else, would always have been better.
Seven years later, at the age of 25, I’ve discovered that I’m tired of playing this game and I just want to learn how to appreciate what I have, who I have, where I’m at. I thought the grass was greener in New York, and I learned that socially, yes you can’t beat it. But that’s not good enough. You have to live in New York in your space-economized apartments, work in New York with the most ambitious and career-oriented people you can possibly imagine, shop in New York for groceries where they may or may not carry your favorite brands, freshest fruits or best meats. Now don't get me wrong, I love it. I just don't love it enough. But I'm glad I did it. And now I want to go back to Florida where there is the 24/7 availability of the beach, bigger houses and the best grocery store of them all- Publix! But what’s my guarantee that when I get there, I won’t find myself longing for something else?
Perhaps you have to suffer through grass-is-greener syndrome in order to figure out what you want and where you want to be. If that’s the case, than I’ll be very happy in Florida. But the doubt still lingers in my mind and it drives me nuts. Or perhaps, age brings the realization that the grass is not indeed greener. That every place, every stage of life (every grocery store), has its pros and cons and you just have to learn to deal with them all. That no matter where you are there are going to be things you love, and you just have to make them outweigh the things you don’t.
Ever since the age of 18, I’ve been suffering from “grass is greener” syndrome. The idea in my head that no matter where I am, or no matter how well I’m doing, something else and somewhere else, would always have been better.
Seven years later, at the age of 25, I’ve discovered that I’m tired of playing this game and I just want to learn how to appreciate what I have, who I have, where I’m at. I thought the grass was greener in New York, and I learned that socially, yes you can’t beat it. But that’s not good enough. You have to live in New York in your space-economized apartments, work in New York with the most ambitious and career-oriented people you can possibly imagine, shop in New York for groceries where they may or may not carry your favorite brands, freshest fruits or best meats. Now don't get me wrong, I love it. I just don't love it enough. But I'm glad I did it. And now I want to go back to Florida where there is the 24/7 availability of the beach, bigger houses and the best grocery store of them all- Publix! But what’s my guarantee that when I get there, I won’t find myself longing for something else?
Perhaps you have to suffer through grass-is-greener syndrome in order to figure out what you want and where you want to be. If that’s the case, than I’ll be very happy in Florida. But the doubt still lingers in my mind and it drives me nuts. Or perhaps, age brings the realization that the grass is not indeed greener. That every place, every stage of life (every grocery store), has its pros and cons and you just have to learn to deal with them all. That no matter where you are there are going to be things you love, and you just have to make them outweigh the things you don’t.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
The following are some of the highlights from my London and Dublin trip, entitled "Lia and Pia Go To Europe," back in mid-November. Although it's less than two months ago, it already feels like I went two years ago! I can't wait to go back and explore again.
Tomorrow- proof positive that my family is cooler than yours.
Tomorrow- proof positive that my family is cooler than yours.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
New Year, New Blogs
I have been a horrible blogger the last month. Well really the last two months since I still haven’t put up my trip photos or anything. That ends with the New Year- new Year, new blogs!
I pushed myself a little too hard during our work’s winter break and I’m paying for it with a very sore throat, stuffy nose and overall discomfort today. I felt it coming on last night and sure enough, I barely slept and felt like crap this morning. Good thing it was fun, or I'd be pissed right now.
The good news is, I came up $200 short for my flexible spending medical account which means I get to go buy $200 worth of the good stuff tonight!!! Top-shelf medicine here I come!! Recovery surely to follow.
Coming soon are photos from my London/Dublin trip, trip to Orlando with the boys, Christmas, and others.
Happy New Year and Happy Reading to begin tomorrow!!
I have been a horrible blogger the last month. Well really the last two months since I still haven’t put up my trip photos or anything. That ends with the New Year- new Year, new blogs!
I pushed myself a little too hard during our work’s winter break and I’m paying for it with a very sore throat, stuffy nose and overall discomfort today. I felt it coming on last night and sure enough, I barely slept and felt like crap this morning. Good thing it was fun, or I'd be pissed right now.
The good news is, I came up $200 short for my flexible spending medical account which means I get to go buy $200 worth of the good stuff tonight!!! Top-shelf medicine here I come!! Recovery surely to follow.
Coming soon are photos from my London/Dublin trip, trip to Orlando with the boys, Christmas, and others.
Happy New Year and Happy Reading to begin tomorrow!!
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