I'm Psychic!

So, my roommate A. and I have become more than slightly obsessed with the notion that she is to meet, marry and create babies with Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live. A few months ago, while re-watching "Lazy Sunday" as I like to do every now and again, I realized that Andy was her perfect type. So I carried my laptop into her room, made her watch it and watched her fall in love, just as predicted.

A few weeks of strategy later, we knew how to go about it. A.'s work is constantly having supercool events, and we know Andy's address is 30 Rock, so I suggested she just begin inviting him to all of her stuff! For an event this Thursday her and her co-workers put together a comprehensive package to send to him and my fingers are crossed.

In the meantime though, on Saturday, I realized we could expedite the process should we just be able to find the SNL afterparty. I'd get drunk and bulldoze my way through any bimbos in Andy's path, thereby throwing the block and clearing the way for A. to work her magical Cuban charms.

Saturday night was like the coldest night in the history of the world. Part A. of the plan, which was get sliiiightly intoxicated (just enough to be loose and funny and say whatever needed to be said) went easily enough. Part B. of the plan: find the party, did not. We exhausted every single contact we had (and not to sound arrogant, but we have a lot, and being in PR, can figure out who needs to be called, how to reach them, etc.) but the odds were against us. Further fueling the flame was the fact that I was reading on Perez, prior to leaving the house, that Andy was spotted out on Friday night at 205 (where A. had been just days earlier) with none other than our arch-enemy Kirstin Dunst! That snaggle-toothed WHORE!

So, we decided to strike out to Cellar Bar because it would be going on for Fashion Week and take our chances.

However, we could not get a cab to save our life, it was starting to creep into negative temperatures and I was losing my patience. I said to A., listen, I don't think Cellar Bar is going to happen, let's try to find a place around here. I suggested a number of bars - Sapa, Tribe, B-Bar, Plan B - we couldn't agree. We wound up at a winebar called Von and I was so exhausted that while Annette talked on the phone, I just laid my head down on the table and went to sleep until she was done. I didn't even care. The bar was empty and no one was even looking at us. We got home around 2:30, tired, defeated and Samberg-less.

Well fast forward to today, I'm reading People.com and guess where the SNL after party was??? SAPA!!!!!

I couldn't email it to Annette fast enough. I was totally on a cosmic connection with Samberg and she ignored it! I finally got the words I've longed to hear - Lia, we will never doubt your suggestion of venue again. But it's too late. The odds of being able to repeat such a psychic feat are slim to none...not to say I won't try, but I'm just saying I had this one in the bag.