AI: Boys Week 2

Well, first of all, it's no secret that the boys cannot suck ass tonight. Considering that only two or three look top-12 worthy, they better prove that the AI system of taking six guys and six girls is fair. I mean, it's clearly not fair, but let's just try to get six boys who sound good enough to be there. And we'll deal with how to improve the system in season seven.


Phil: Comes out sounding like Sting...which he'll never be as hot as...however, I really enjoyed him. And, he moved around the stage so that the overall lightbulb staring into the camera effect of his bald head wasn't as obvious. I don't think he completely blew me out of the water, but I'm impressed, and give him a solid 8/10.


Jared: I feel like taking on Marvin Gaye is always hard because of the slow tempo and fact that Marvin is kind of like the deathtrap of taking on Stevie Wonder..you better be better, or you're going to be either ok, or suck. Jared is hot enough, that's for sure and I can tell he's trying out there...and his falsetto is just fine. I don't know if I loved it. 7.5/10.

AJ: Before AJ sings, I'd like to just say that I'm excited for him because I think he was one of the better ones last week after thinking about it. And now that he's opened his mouth, I really like this song so he better not f* it up for me. So far, so good. I wish he really kicked the shit out of the song, but I liked the semi-hip-hop vibe he put in. I think I'm going to give him an 8.25/10. Yes that's right, quarter-point biotches.

(Preview commentary: umm Sanjaya wearing that hat, better make this work or I will be merciless.)

Sanjaya: Not to be insensitive, but can you really be totally affected by someone who died when you were five? I understand spiritual connections and what not, I'm just saying. But I'll save my critique for the performance. Which, um, is boring and awkward. Big surprise. If he is not gone next week I will officially punch my TV so hard that I will hit him in the face despite the fact that we were on opposite coasts. 5/10. No, 4/10. Oh wait, he just talked and made no sense. 3/10. No...let's just go for 2/10. I'd give him 1/10 but I want to save that special score for someone who comes out on stage and has a heart attack and dies...thereby making a true score impossible.

Chris: I did not realize Chris was married. Interesting. I hope Chris doesn't piss me off with arrogance again. Let's see. I'm not crazy about the song, he better turn it out with the quickness. Not happening...(15 seconds go by...)...maybe happening? (10 more seconds go by...)...not happening. I'm bored and I've picked up my tweezers to see if my eyebrows need any work. They do! Good I can zone out now. 6/10. I can't believe the judges liked this.

Nick: I knew he was going to dedicate this to a girl...so we just broke up. It's fine, luckily I have a current object of affection. So far, he sounds pretty good. I like the sound of his voice. Simon is snapping...but did he lose it at the end? I can't tell if that was on purpose or not. That was a bit wierd. 7.75/10.

Blake:
Did we just hear that he is attempting Jamiroquai? Best idea ever? Let's find out. Hmm..this is a bit of an odd choice...I kind of want him to jump on treadmills priorly built into the ground and hop around in a cool way. But he's not. I think this was a valiant effort, but not quiiiiite there. Also gets a 7.75/10.
(As usual agree with Simon. And I'm fast-forwarding through Ryan's argument with Simon b/c I can't deal.)

Brandon: Once again, I'm really hoping Brandon knocks it out because I think he is better than what he showed last week. Very interesting song choice and I like the way he started it out. I actually really liked this, I thought it was understated and simple...and for once that worked. 8.5/10! I agree with the judges that you should go up and there and sing your heart out, but I see where Brandon is coming from too. Hmm...if he doesn't come out and Celine Deon it next week, I'm off the Brandon train.

Chris:He's not really helping the I'm-not-JT cause if that's what he's looking for...but you know that will never be an issue for me. The world could use 25 JT's. It would be a warmer and sunnier place...with no winter, and no war, and every dog would always be as cute as it was as a puppy and babies would grow older slower and...well you get the point. I loved it! This was 9/10!!

Sundance:Sundance seems like a nice guy...and I'd like to root for him. He has a good voice, but that Chris is going to be a tough act to follow. However, I feel like this is a pretty good karaoke and dear god, I'm sounding just like Simon. Where is my job at Rolling Stone? Oh Sundance, I'm so sorry. The judges liked him but I only think I like this 7/10.

So my vote tonight is for the JT-like Chris...by a mile. And goodbye to Sanjaya for sure...and then either Sundance or the other Chris.