American Idol: Girls Week 1

Ryan says strong start to the competition based on last night? Did he not listen to anything or watch the show at all? Ummm no Ryan. You completely obliterate all love I felt toward you and your vest last night. It's going to take the entire length of the next two hours to get me to love you again. I mean, I will. Just not until 10.

Stephanie: Already started better than 10/12 boys from yesterday. Love her confidence and her facial expressions. It's hard to go first because you can forget them so easily. Don't know if she hit the last note all the way, but it's okay because she was more fun to watch than anyone last night. 8/10.

Amy: Singing one of my favorite songs of all time, so I'm already a little nervous. Listening on TV it sounds like she might be singing in the wrong key? I can't tell...it doesn't sound bad, it just sounds a bit wierd. I'm ambivalent. I'm curious what the judges will say. I say 7/10.

(Sidenote: I find myself singing every song as soon as the judges finish speaking and when Ryan pipes up again. I wish for a microphone. Alas, there is none here in my room.)

Leslie: I think she has weird, jerky body movements and I'm not enjoying that hip swinging thing. If she practiced in that mirror she must be somewhat blind. It's not sexy, it looks very awkward and now I'm actually wishing I could either punch her in the face or hold her still by the hips. Plus now she is throwing gang signs, which I should give her props for but physically cannot. She should have just sang like she sang the last note the whole time while standing still. 6/10.

(Agree with Simon who finally addresses her uncomfy posture, and wish Randy and Paula would just let him talk! Ugh! So annoying!)

Sabrina: First off, I'd kill myself if I had that hair, but that is neither here nor there. I like her attitude and she comes out swinging from the start...always a good thing. This was awesome, she maximized her minute and a half the best anyone has so far. Not only that but she acknowledges she had to come out and do something fun, fast and good. Love it, someone who knows what the hell is up. 9/10!

Antonella: The Jersey girl, from Point Pleasant no less. I bet my cousin knows her. But again, neither here nor there. She's kind of awkward on stage and she kept losing what note she should be on...she started off much stronger than she finished. Mmmmm....6/10. Not in love.

Jordin: Another one who came out with attitude and hit it spot on. I loved it! 9/10. I don't think I totally agree with the judges this time around, I think she was much better than they said.

Nicole: I thought the Italian girl would represent but not only is this a bad song, but sometimes attitude does not work on white girls. Like in this case. And her parents should sit down. This was somewhat painful. As in like, my ears are bleeding slightly I think. 6/10 because I need a Q-tip now.

(Sidenote, Rudy I see you grooving with your head down in the boys section. Guess what, you still sucked last night.) I also am officially fast-forwarding once Simon gets his first thought out because I can't take the fighting.

Haley: Hmm, she sounds "a bit pitchy"...and yes, that's right I said it. Eat it haters. I'm kind of bored because I feel like I'm in a pop opera. A sort of bad and boring pop opera. Not that I've been to one of those, but this is what I imagine it to be like. 7.5/10.

Melinda: This was good in the sense that it wasn't bad. She can sing but in the middle I found myself looking at my candle and wondering what would happen if it suddenly lit my wall on fire. Like, what would I do? But she can sing and it was good and the judges will like it...but I just wasn't that interested. 8.5/10 though.

Alaina: Could she be any skinnier? Good for her haha. Anyways, I think some of the earlier girls have proven that in these first rounds you just have to come out swinging right from the top of the song and who sings this song Belinda Carlisle? The Bangles? I don't know. I know she can sing better than this because I've seen her so I give 8/10.

Gina: I really like Gina, not in small part b/c I wish I could pull that off with my hair. This is a good example on how to make a slower song sound really good...I am not bored where as if other people took this on I'd be back looking at my candle. 9/10. Did Randy just call her a big girl tho? F*** him!!! Though now looking at her next to Ryan she is quite tall...but I think I'd be tall next to Ryan, so who knows. But oh there she goes sassing up Simon. Gina...don't do this. Just no.

Lakisha: Oh my god is she trying to do "...and I'm Telling You I'm Not Going?" I'm so scared! (Two minutes later...): Holy crap that was pretty damn amazing. Umm, I actually might cry. 10/10 because I need to go find a tissue. And then Simon zings Gina which makes me love him that much more.