Hey, Jealousy

No matter how over someone you are, I think it's just human nature to be weirded out when your ex starts dating someone new. Through the phenomenal stalking tool that is MySpace, I happened to notice, quite on accident, I SWEAR, that my ex-boyfriend may be dating a new girl. Confirmed for sure via semi-drunken text message earlier this evening. (Side note, there is a new blog coming on why text messaging is the devil, compiled by various brunch conversations this weekend.)

Anyone who knows me, knows that me and this person should not be together and breaking up, after a very long and drawn out period of time, was better for the both of us. And I cannot repeat enough times that I have finally exorcised my demons and am in a good place now, after the personal debacle that was my summer and early fall.

That's why I was so surprised to feel the wierd feeling I got noticing that he was with someone else, even though I can't lie, the small sense of victory I got from knowing I'm cuter than she is felt pretty good haha.

Maybe what bothered me more is that his dating her, I suspect, times not so coincidentally with his decision to stop talking to me. One of the things that I always hoped for J. and I would be that we could be the exes that never stopped being friends, given that we were best friends for such a long time before we got together. Maybe that was wishful thinking, I am realistic...and I know that more often than not, this is not the case. And I guess I have no choice but to be okay with that, and for once, I think I am.

But given the dating scene here in New York, which can only be described as hellish at best, it is a bit difficult to know that he won the race that we all kind of enter when we break up with someone, a race we are only semi-conscious of entering. Despite my desire not to wish him the best, I still care enough about him and actually do wish him the best. He doesn't read this blog, luckily, but hopefully my good karma comes back to me sooner or later.