Another Mouse in the House, Hilarity Does NOT Ensue

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to do something that was not really fun. I was woken up at 9:30 a.m., after going to sleep/passing out at 4 a.m., by the sound of my roommate making a sound not unlike what I imagine chimpanzees having sex would sound like. Kind of a "ooooh oooh oooh" sound, interspersed with "oh no's." I guess that means the chimpanzees would have to know how to speak. Maybe they'd be special chimpanzees, the kind you can teach sign language to, for example. Anyways, I figured one of two things had happened when I woke up out of a dead sleep to hear this noise. One would be that she really got hurt or something. The other would be that the mouse that we've suspected was in the house had been caught. Actually, we didn't suspect. We knew. He'd peeked out from under the stove a couple times over the two weeks prior. When P. and A. saw him there were screams and then a phone call to me. Met by me, he received the usual greeting of "Get the fuck out of our house!" Anyways, I hear this noise and then I hear a knock on the door and P. going "Liaaaaaaaaaaa, Liaaaaaaaaaa. Please wake up. Please. Now."

So I get up and she points down and there is a teeny tiny mouse caught in a glue trap on the side of the refrigerator. It was Sunday morning. I had no contacts in. I had no idea where my glasses were and the best I could do was open one eye halfway. Having learned my lesson from the last time, I shuffle over to the dustpan, slide the mouse and trap onto the pan with the paint roller extender, and leave them there on the ground while I grab a plastic bag. I do manage to get a glance at P. who is look at me with mouth half-open since at this point, I have yet to say a word. Not because I was mad or anything but because I was so exhausted.

I grab a plastic bag, flip the mouse and trap into the bag - but not before my curiousity gets the best of me and I lean in for a closer look at our little friend. I was sad to find he was absolutely adorable. P.'s mouth is agape at this point and I finally get out the word "awwww." She is like get him out of here now. And then she calls me a freak.

So I bring him downstairs and put him in the regular garbage can to meet his fate. No beatings, no screaming, no running outside at breakneck speed. I have officially become the Mouse Queen...which is fitting since tonight I am going to see the Nutcracker and I believe there is a character called the Rat King or Mouse King or something like that. Perhaps there is a slim chance the ballet dancer in this role will call me up on stage and we can do a mouse tango together.