Rice + Soy Sauce + Appletinis Does Not Equal Fun

In case anyone was ever wondering, these three things do not go well together. Last night, unaware, I mixed the three and then I paid for it dearly from 2 a.m.-4 a.m. And when I say “paid for it dearly” I mean I would rather have had both my legs broken rather than ever feel that way again.

I went to a professional social to drink, mingle and hang out for a little bit after work. It had been a rough Monday so I thought it would help loosen me up for the rest of the week.

Mr. Curly-Haired Bartender, age 21, was going heavy on the vodka, light on the Sour Apple Puckers for mixing the Appletinis. I had two and was sufficiently buzzed to feel good about going out on a rainy Monday.

I needed to make it home in time for “24,” so around 8:30 Pia, Annette and I jumped in the cab to travel the 12 blocks home. Yes we are lazy and no, I don’t care.

When we got home, I heated up a small amount of rice I had leftover from the night before, gave it a few shakes of soy sauce and ate it. Looking back, I maybe had like 6 forkfulls…but I’ve eaten way less than that after drinking on an empty stomach and never had a problem. Anywho, Kiefer rocked it on TV and then at 10:15 I got in bed ready for a good night’s sleep.

And all was well until I bolted upright at 2 a.m. and realized I was going to be totally sick. And I was repeatedly until 4, when I passed out again from sheer physical exertion. I couldn’t get warm under the covers, I had a piece of toast sitting on the pillow next to my head (I’ll deal with the crumbs tonight) and a Dr. Pepper open by the side of the bed. It was awful. I don’t know if I manually dehydrated myself by not eating right and pumping myself full of salt after drinking very strong drinks…or maybe it was just karma and I spoke too soon about having the best day ever. But in any case, let this be a lesson to all. Soy Sauce, Rice and Appletinis should never rendezvous in your body. You’ll be sorry if they do.