Just One Conversation

Over the course of the last few months, I’ve been very contemplative. Part of it is winter blues since the weather in the Northeast can’t seem to make up its damn mind and decide whether it’s going to be warm, cold, rainy, sunny, gloomy, cloudy, snowy or hailing on any given day. Each day I wake up wondering what to wear, if I need a hat, what's the meaning of life, I'm hungry and... can I wear my suede boots? Oh, life in LiaLand is very difficult indeed.

But seriously, I have been a little more introspective than I normally like to be, and I think it’s in no small part due to the fact that it’s become extremely obvious to me that small moments over the course of the last few months have seemed to shape the course of my life.

It just struck me as so funny that we, as human beings, do all these big, huge things to ensure we live the lives we think we want to lead. We go to college, we rack up thousands of dollars of debt for the sake of a piece of paper from a specific institution that lends us prestige, we get on planes and live thousands of miles from everything we know…just for the idea that we’re doing something big. Something bigger than ourselves. But although these things certainly shape who we are, and play their part in determining the success we find, it’s so often the teeny tiny moments that cause us to make our biggest decisions.

For me, that moment was nothing more than one glance across a crowded room that renewed a relationship I thought there was no chance of saving. After that moment, I went home and had a conversation that changed my course of thinking…and just the other day, I had a follow-up to that conversation that affirmed that what I am doing is right. Perhaps I’ll blog about the details later, right now, it’s just too new to discuss out loud, but I can’t help but be amazed that I’ve traveled this far in my life…done so much, just to have these three slivers of time, because all they are is slivers, determine the future I want to live.

It’s impossible not to note that perhaps the reason I recognized these moments for what they were is precisely because I’ve done all the things I have done. One could have not have existed without the other. It just strikes me weird that’s all. You would think that the things that shape our lives would be huge, earth-shattering events….not teeny fragments of time.

On another note, I am menstrual and therefore, feeling this way. The blogs about guidos, food, rude New Yorkers and excessive amounts of drinking will soon return. In the meantime, it's back to the fun stuff at work... a fact sheet about candle fountains! Yeah!!!!!!!