Making the First Move

Making the first move...just a guy's job? Certainly not anymore.

My friends and I have been talking about this lately. It's more than just about who should do it...because let's face it, at the end of the day, we all want the guy to make the first move but sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. Rather, the burning question is WHEN/IF does the girl make the first move?

Step one is usually to determine if the person is into you. This includes determining level and intensity of eye contact, physical brushes, conversations being had and the looks your friends are giving you. If it's determined that the situation could end favorably for all, the second step is...

When to make the move. Right away? If it's a bar setting, where you may not see this person again, the answer is yes. But that's easy. What if this person is a friend or someone you see on a regular basis. You don't want to make the move too early, especially if the potential exists for something long term. You want the timing to be right.

So let's just say you have determined the person is into you and you know when you can make the first move. This is fairly easy. The most important question of all is...

DO you make the first move? Again, if this is a bar situation, chances are there are no real-world consequences. Not unless you do something stupid, but I'm not talking those kinds of first moves. That's another blog entirely.

No, I mean the type of move that could make things awkward. If they don't go your way that is. I'm not going to say I'm in this situation myself...but oh, f* it, I'm in this situation and it's quite the internal debate.

After talking about it with several friends, two camps have formed.

1.) The camp that says screw it, give it a try and see what happens.

2.) The camp that says have a drunken conversation (for better or for worse alcohol makes it easier) and THEN give it a try and see what happens.

I think I'm in Camp Two. But back to the third question....do I do it? Do I sit back and wait? I have no idea. I don't think that the attempt would cause any long-term harm if it didn't go my way...just possibly some short-term embarrasment but I have no problem with that. No guts, no glory right???