So...after two weeks of scouring Manhattan strip clubs, talking to bouncers, finding general managers, asking permission to speak to dancers, waiting at the bar, hanging out in the locker rooms...my first article is published at last:
http://radaronline.com/features/2008/02/diablo_cody_strippers_with_artistic_aspirations_01.php
Pulitzer Prize soon, ya'll!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Published Next Thursday!
My very first story will be published on RadarOnline.com next Thursday! Look for it biotches! Yeah!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
AI: Results, Week 1
First of all, thank God for DVR so I can fast-forward through all of the boring and super-corny song-and-dance routine they make everyone do.
With that said, I think the best part of the whole show was when Garrett was cut and you saw Jason mouth "just like that, huh?" Yes, just like that. If only we could have it be a half hour.
Poor Kristy Lee Cook - deemed safe - was also unfortunately outfitted in pleather and white hooker boots. Poor thing. To drag her in front of America looking like that - and then subject us to her and another possible, unfortunate outfit choice again. Actually, I absolutely hated the way all the girls were dressed tonight, they all looked horrible.
I think the right people went home and I think the girls are much better than the boys.
I found it a tad ironic that American Idol would air Paula and Randy's new song, since Paula is clearly singing through a synthesizer and old girl looked mad stiff in her dance moves. But I liked the song a lot. I'll be jamming out to it fo' sho'.
And goodness that little Danny Noriega is so pretty. I love him!
But by far, the best moment of the night was Simon telling just-cut Colton that he'd never make it music and to get a good job. HAHAHAHAHA.
With that said, I think the best part of the whole show was when Garrett was cut and you saw Jason mouth "just like that, huh?" Yes, just like that. If only we could have it be a half hour.
Poor Kristy Lee Cook - deemed safe - was also unfortunately outfitted in pleather and white hooker boots. Poor thing. To drag her in front of America looking like that - and then subject us to her and another possible, unfortunate outfit choice again. Actually, I absolutely hated the way all the girls were dressed tonight, they all looked horrible.
I think the right people went home and I think the girls are much better than the boys.
I found it a tad ironic that American Idol would air Paula and Randy's new song, since Paula is clearly singing through a synthesizer and old girl looked mad stiff in her dance moves. But I liked the song a lot. I'll be jamming out to it fo' sho'.
And goodness that little Danny Noriega is so pretty. I love him!
But by far, the best moment of the night was Simon telling just-cut Colton that he'd never make it music and to get a good job. HAHAHAHAHA.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
American Idol: Season 7
So as much as I can, I'll try to do the real time thoughts on American Idol. Note for first time readers, I have absolutely no entertainment background, I just like to be thoroughly entertained...at all times.
Here goes! Week 1, Boys:
David Hernandez - Nice voice, little stiff. I would NEVER want to go first during the live performances, so you kind of have to feel for the kid. Then again, you think about so many of the people that have come before him who just knock it out of the park on the first time out, and he defintely didn't do that. I think he's forgettable. Sorry David.
Chikieze - First of all, I am automatically slightly wary of anyone who chooses to go by one name right off the bat. Mandisa, anyone? However, I think he did well. He took a well-known song and made it a bit different. I still don't kind of get how people thing that after 7 years starting slow and building to something is going to be an audience clincher, rather than just trying to knock our socks off from the beginning. He looks a little lounge singer-ish for my taste. I don't agree with Simon completely, but I also dont think "Jacuzzi" should have talked back either. Take your criticism at this stage - doesn't anyone watch and strategize? God!
David Cook - I loved him in the auditions and I think that he didn't get enough camera time following. So I'm excited to see what he does right now...(3 minutes later). Not loving the song choice. Appreciate it. Don't love it. I think he missed his major notes? Sometimes it's hard to tell on TV. Overall, ehhhhhhhhhh. I'm surprised the judges liked this. At least he seems nice. And he's cute so I'm guessing the rocker chicks will dig it.
Jason Yaeger - I can't wait until the stylists get rid of those blonde tips. Those must go. Like...now. Sigh - he chooses Moon River. And he's like real corny with his smiles and points. I kind of want to ask, do you hear Moon River playing on ANYTHING else besides an adult contemporary station that runs the Delilah show? That was kind of the song you dedicate to your loved one across the country who "you're missing tonight." Picture that, in the Delilah voice.
Robby Carrico - I think he was in that boy/girl group that covered ABBA songs. Right? I'm almost positive. But I can't remember who they are. And I think he's got the right idea - even though it's 60s, it doesn't have to sound dated. You can tell he's comfortable on the stage. And if I liked rocker guys - then he's TOTALLY hot. But I don't. I liked him a lot. I agree with Simon - this was the only performance thus far that could be considered current.
David Archuleta - First of all, I love this kid. I want to adopt him as my son and raise him to adulthood. I want him to do good. I think he gets it - he chooses a snappy song, something that let's him have a little fun. I think he's better than some of the guys that are more than a decade older than him with children just younger than he is, even if he did look a little nervous. But he's like 17! He'll be through and I will live to possibly adopt him another day. Omg he's so cute, I just want to eat him with a spoon.
Danny Noriega - He's got such a masculine voice for someone so effiminate and if he dated Christian from Project Runway and had a fierce-ness off, I'm not sure Christian would win. And Christian is super fierce. I liked him. I think you have to give it up to everyone who comes out tonight and is just themself and has a good time with it. I liked it. It was fun and I didn't find myself bored with it like I did with other peeps. And he sassed Simon in a good way, while being humble. Plus, he's real pretty.
(aside - Paula and Simon arguing. Ughhhh! I hate these arguments. Sooo annoying and its why I love DVR.)
Luke Menard - Hey, it's Orlando Bloom/Luke Perry on American Idol! Yeah! He looks like the lovechild of both. If he came here to win American Idol, then he picked a song that was mad boring. I'm already playing Scramble. Omg, I think that was the single most boring thing I have ever heard. And his wife's chin just jabbed me in the eye from the TV. And I am sitting back like 10 feet from the TV.
(PS- can you tell my bloody mary just kicked in? Also, why is Paula's voice so shaky? She sounds like she's on the verge of tears.)
Colton Berry - Numero uno - you do not look like Ellen DeGeneres from ANY angle. Sorry. I really like his choice of song but I don't think he's doing anything especially fun with it, and he could. He's not completely boring though. He's wearing bright blue pants as well, I am not sure how I feel about that. Um, he was okay.
(I'm waiting for someone to come out and really just do something awesome here. David has been the best by far. I als dont feel like listening to the judges argue anymore, so I'm fast forwarding once Simon finishes his initial thought.)
Garrett Haley - For the first verse, I was like okay Neil Sedaka, yeah! This will get really rolling in a second. But....he never quite got there. There are so many amazing things you could have done with this song, and he didn't. Ugh. Where are the power notes? The big finishes? Ugh. And Randy just totally said everything I just wrote. I could totally be a judge on AI.
Jason Castro - Here's another one who hasn't gotten a ton of facetime, so I'm curious what he's going to do. He's obviously got a unique look, he's also real pretty. First, props for bringing out the guitar. Great choice of song as well. He may have lost it a bit at the end, but for someone who has only sang in public a few times, I think it was okay. And he looks really humble and surprised at his talent...and I like that.
Michael Johns - Good choice for his voice. And he's fun to watch. I love how the stylists gave him a scarf instead of a tie. So very Australian of him. It's amazing that his 2 minutes went so fast and some others creep by endlessly. He was really good and obviously a semi-professional. Hearts all around!!!
That's it. This is exhausting. Looking forward to the girls tomorrow.
Here goes! Week 1, Boys:
David Hernandez - Nice voice, little stiff. I would NEVER want to go first during the live performances, so you kind of have to feel for the kid. Then again, you think about so many of the people that have come before him who just knock it out of the park on the first time out, and he defintely didn't do that. I think he's forgettable. Sorry David.
Chikieze - First of all, I am automatically slightly wary of anyone who chooses to go by one name right off the bat. Mandisa, anyone? However, I think he did well. He took a well-known song and made it a bit different. I still don't kind of get how people thing that after 7 years starting slow and building to something is going to be an audience clincher, rather than just trying to knock our socks off from the beginning. He looks a little lounge singer-ish for my taste. I don't agree with Simon completely, but I also dont think "Jacuzzi" should have talked back either. Take your criticism at this stage - doesn't anyone watch and strategize? God!
David Cook - I loved him in the auditions and I think that he didn't get enough camera time following. So I'm excited to see what he does right now...(3 minutes later). Not loving the song choice. Appreciate it. Don't love it. I think he missed his major notes? Sometimes it's hard to tell on TV. Overall, ehhhhhhhhhh. I'm surprised the judges liked this. At least he seems nice. And he's cute so I'm guessing the rocker chicks will dig it.
Jason Yaeger - I can't wait until the stylists get rid of those blonde tips. Those must go. Like...now. Sigh - he chooses Moon River. And he's like real corny with his smiles and points. I kind of want to ask, do you hear Moon River playing on ANYTHING else besides an adult contemporary station that runs the Delilah show? That was kind of the song you dedicate to your loved one across the country who "you're missing tonight." Picture that, in the Delilah voice.
Robby Carrico - I think he was in that boy/girl group that covered ABBA songs. Right? I'm almost positive. But I can't remember who they are. And I think he's got the right idea - even though it's 60s, it doesn't have to sound dated. You can tell he's comfortable on the stage. And if I liked rocker guys - then he's TOTALLY hot. But I don't. I liked him a lot. I agree with Simon - this was the only performance thus far that could be considered current.
David Archuleta - First of all, I love this kid. I want to adopt him as my son and raise him to adulthood. I want him to do good. I think he gets it - he chooses a snappy song, something that let's him have a little fun. I think he's better than some of the guys that are more than a decade older than him with children just younger than he is, even if he did look a little nervous. But he's like 17! He'll be through and I will live to possibly adopt him another day. Omg he's so cute, I just want to eat him with a spoon.
Danny Noriega - He's got such a masculine voice for someone so effiminate and if he dated Christian from Project Runway and had a fierce-ness off, I'm not sure Christian would win. And Christian is super fierce. I liked him. I think you have to give it up to everyone who comes out tonight and is just themself and has a good time with it. I liked it. It was fun and I didn't find myself bored with it like I did with other peeps. And he sassed Simon in a good way, while being humble. Plus, he's real pretty.
(aside - Paula and Simon arguing. Ughhhh! I hate these arguments. Sooo annoying and its why I love DVR.)
Luke Menard - Hey, it's Orlando Bloom/Luke Perry on American Idol! Yeah! He looks like the lovechild of both. If he came here to win American Idol, then he picked a song that was mad boring. I'm already playing Scramble. Omg, I think that was the single most boring thing I have ever heard. And his wife's chin just jabbed me in the eye from the TV. And I am sitting back like 10 feet from the TV.
(PS- can you tell my bloody mary just kicked in? Also, why is Paula's voice so shaky? She sounds like she's on the verge of tears.)
Colton Berry - Numero uno - you do not look like Ellen DeGeneres from ANY angle. Sorry. I really like his choice of song but I don't think he's doing anything especially fun with it, and he could. He's not completely boring though. He's wearing bright blue pants as well, I am not sure how I feel about that. Um, he was okay.
(I'm waiting for someone to come out and really just do something awesome here. David has been the best by far. I als dont feel like listening to the judges argue anymore, so I'm fast forwarding once Simon finishes his initial thought.)
Garrett Haley - For the first verse, I was like okay Neil Sedaka, yeah! This will get really rolling in a second. But....he never quite got there. There are so many amazing things you could have done with this song, and he didn't. Ugh. Where are the power notes? The big finishes? Ugh. And Randy just totally said everything I just wrote. I could totally be a judge on AI.
Jason Castro - Here's another one who hasn't gotten a ton of facetime, so I'm curious what he's going to do. He's obviously got a unique look, he's also real pretty. First, props for bringing out the guitar. Great choice of song as well. He may have lost it a bit at the end, but for someone who has only sang in public a few times, I think it was okay. And he looks really humble and surprised at his talent...and I like that.
Michael Johns - Good choice for his voice. And he's fun to watch. I love how the stylists gave him a scarf instead of a tie. So very Australian of him. It's amazing that his 2 minutes went so fast and some others creep by endlessly. He was really good and obviously a semi-professional. Hearts all around!!!
That's it. This is exhausting. Looking forward to the girls tomorrow.
Friday, February 15, 2008
BlackBerry Glitch Results in 100,000,000 Heart Attacks
Black(Berry) Monday
Last Monday’s BlackBerry outage was blamed for more then 100,000,000 heart attacks – of which 99,999,999 million were workaholics in desperate need of a life outside of work.
The remaining victim was an old woman who suffered a heart attack when a Wall Street investment banker yelled in her face on Chambers Street because he had not been able to check the Dow Jones Stock index for 30 seconds.
Dr. Ken Burns of the American Heart Foundation, released the following statement regarding the fragile state of American heart health when workers had to go more then several hours without checking their e-mail and sports scores. “I think the world would have been better without these douches, but c’est la vie.”
The BlackBerry outage was blamed on a system upgrade that parent company, Research in Motion, said resulted in a system-wide glitch.
Research in Motion spokeswoman Tanya Smith said, “We will now conduct all system upgrades between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., which, according to our research, is when our primary user base is doing bumps of cocaine to reach their required number of billable hours. This should help rectify the situation in the future.”
Last Monday’s BlackBerry outage was blamed for more then 100,000,000 heart attacks – of which 99,999,999 million were workaholics in desperate need of a life outside of work.
The remaining victim was an old woman who suffered a heart attack when a Wall Street investment banker yelled in her face on Chambers Street because he had not been able to check the Dow Jones Stock index for 30 seconds.
Dr. Ken Burns of the American Heart Foundation, released the following statement regarding the fragile state of American heart health when workers had to go more then several hours without checking their e-mail and sports scores. “I think the world would have been better without these douches, but c’est la vie.”
The BlackBerry outage was blamed on a system upgrade that parent company, Research in Motion, said resulted in a system-wide glitch.
Research in Motion spokeswoman Tanya Smith said, “We will now conduct all system upgrades between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., which, according to our research, is when our primary user base is doing bumps of cocaine to reach their required number of billable hours. This should help rectify the situation in the future.”
My First Time
I just submitted my first rough draft for a story to an editor. I am really happy with how it's coming out so far and am looking forward to feedback! I'm also continuing with interviews for it throughout tonight before embarking on a well-deserved party weekend.
Oh yeah, my story is about strippers! Yes! Hooray for me!
Oh yeah, my story is about strippers! Yes! Hooray for me!
Monday, February 04, 2008
Jessica Biel
Was named one of Vanity Fair's fresh faces for its latest "Hollywood" issue. Am I missing something here? She's been in several films, none of which did very well (with the exception, I believe, of The Illusionist, but whose weight was carried by her co-stars Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale).
If someone can explain her to me, I'd be really happy to listen. Cause I really don't get it.
If someone can explain her to me, I'd be really happy to listen. Cause I really don't get it.
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