R. Kelly and Transvestites! Not Together

R. Kelly Should Just Disappear

On my way to work this morning, I saw a number of R. Kelly “Trapped in the Closet” door hangers all over the ground. While I was grateful they were actually on the ground and being walked all over, I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone really cares about R. Kelly’s new video. Does anyone still like R. Kelly? Does anyone think this ridiculous “Trapped in the Closet” series is interesting or anything more than R. Kelly further diving into the deep end? I’m officially adding R. Kelly to my list of “people I don’t give a flying f*** about.”

Friday Night …Transvestites!

After another awesome Death by Roo Roo Show at the UCB, GC and I decided we wanted to play Guitar Hero…again. So we loaded up on some Sparks and beer, just like real rock stars would, at a bodega near the theater.

While inside, we both immediately noticed an attractive, older woman with amazing legs looking through the alcohol section. She was noticeable because she had gray hair and glasses, but was in a silver mini-dress that just screamed LOOK AT ME!

We had already drank two beers each, so we were feeling like we should say something, when her friend came over with a bottle of Voss water and remarked how it would make an excellent dildo. I think the surprise that registered on both our faces was blatant, because silver mini dress looked over at us and said to her friend something about how she had a number of ideas on how she could make that happen.

I don’t remember exactly how we got to talking to her, but we got to talking to Silver Mini Dress who turned out to be SO NICE. She was an in-transition transsexual, named Jasmine, in the process of becoming a woman. She was going to be part of a documentary called “There Are No Mistakes,” and was also working on getting her own talk show. We also discussed her tattoo idea, which would be to inject colored silicon under your skin so that you could push it into different shapes every day, and have a new tattoo whenever you wanted. All of this information came out in approximately 3-4 minutes.

And then we proceeded to play Guitar Hero until 6:30 a.m., me on bass, GC on lead. Improv Comedy, Transvestites and Video Games and a sunrise bed time – perfect Friday night!